Why Bill O'Reilly Ought To Be Sodomized With a Microphone (Vermont Boycott Edition):
From Bill O'Reilly's Fox "news" program last night, in his "Talking Points" segment (aka "Watch, fuckers, as I lick my own taint"):

"One of the big problems in Vermont is that the media is dishonest. Newspapers in Brattleboro, Bennington, Rutland all said I called for a boycott of Vermont. Those papers know that's not true because I've stated again and again I'm not in favor of a boycott. But they print the lie anyway."

From the January 16, 2006 edition of the same program, when O'Reilly was in full froth over the Vermont judge who didn't give a vicious enough sentence to a child molester for O'Reilly's liking:

"Our billoreilly.com poll question asks if Judge Cashman is not removed from criminal cases, will you boycott Vermont? If Judge Cashman is not removed from criminal cases, will you boycott Vermont? Unfortunately, that's what it might take -- action by the rest of the country to wake the state up."

From later that same night, whilst intoning letters from viewers regarding said Vermont controversy:

"Ellen Murphy, New Fairfield, Connecticut: 'Cashman's ruling was not the fault of the folks in Vermont. The boycott you call for, O'Reilly, would hurt them.'"

O'Reilly responded, "I did not call for a boycott, madam. I put the poll question on a web site so people can decide for themselves."

From the January 23, 2006 of the ongoing saga:

"In Vermont itself, the liberal media has rallied to the defense of the judge. Yesterday the Montpelier newspaper lied outright to its readers, saying I'm leading a boycott of Vermont. That, of course, is false. We have a boycott question on billoreilly.com. That's it."

One year later, well, just a couple of weeks ago, on January 15, 2007, here's what O'Reilly told his audience: "'Talking Points' is considering boycotting Vermont. But if that happens, thousands of good people will get hurt because the state depends on tourism."

He followed this up by questioning a former state senator in this way: "Ms. Wilton, I am considering asking people to boycott the state of Vermont. Not go there, not buy their products. I don't want to do it. You just heard those - you know, every - well not everybody, but people that we spoke to in Vermont -- in southern Vermont, they all knew about this case. They all were horrified. But the fact remains the legislature voted down Jessica's Law. The media continues to cover up for this stuff in Vermont. And the situation is out of control. So boycott or no?"

And then there's this from January 17, 2007: "Well, today, the corrupt Vermont media sprung into action. Again, The Times Argus newspaper said, 'Another year, another national condemnation of Vermont by right-wing cable talk show host Bill O'Reilly...O'Reilly...called for a national boycott of Vermont.' Well, that's a lie. I have not called for a boycott of Vermont, but I am calling for a boycott of The Times Argus, a dishonest enterprise."

Man, Bill O'Reilly would have been awesome as the instigator of a lynch mob back in the day in the South. Standing in a bar, with all the drunk rednecks around him, talking about that black guy who was arrested for whistling at a white woman, you could just see O'Reilly, fingers on his suspenders like he's Stephen Fuckin' Douglas, declaiming, "How many of you boys think we oughta just bust down the door of that jail and drag that nigger out and hang 'im from the big ol' elm tree in the town square? Do you think that'd be a lesson to all the other niggers? Now, now, Jesse, Clyde, calm down, I'm just sayin' that it's somethin' we might wanna consider. What do you men think about lynchin' that nigger who insulted the womanhood of one of our town darlings?" And then, once that mob went charging out of the bar, half of them getting the tar and rope ready, half of them heading down to the county lock-up, O'Reilly could just watch from the window, knowing that he never really said that the man should be lynched. But he'll definitely sit back and enjoy the smell of burnt flesh.