Big black buck blowjob

"Here's the unmentionable secret: Racism isn't that big a deal any more. No sensible person supports it. Nobody of importance preaches it. It's rapidly becoming an ugly memory."
-- White House Press Secretary Tony Snow, back in the day (Fox News Sunday, October 6, 2003)

Well he got one part right -- no sensible person supports it. Take the story of Florida State Representative Bob Allen (R-of course). He also served as John McCain campaign’s co-chairman in Florida. He had a 90% Christian Coalition voting record. But he also allegedly had a taste for big black man meat.

Rep. Allen picked the restroom at Veteran’s Memorial Park in Titusville to satisfy his need for chocolate oral pleasure. As he cruised the stalls, he solicited an undercover male officer inside the restroom, offering to perform suck off the black man in blue for $20. Yes, he was going to pay to perform.

When the cop lifted his shirt and showed Allen the badge, imagine what kind of excuses ran through his mind to explain away the encounter -- the devil made him do it? Drugs? Booze?

Those all would have made sense. Too easy. All of the GOP sexual hypocrites have it down pat -- just check into rehab and hope everyone will forget about the indiscretion.

No. Bob Allen reached back into the recesses of his bigoted mind and probably said "Eureka! The big black buck made me do it! He was about to mug me and I needed to do anything to beat a path from these dangerous darkies."

State Rep. Bob Allen told police he was just playing along when a undercover officer suggested in a public restroom that the legislator give him oral sex and $20 because he was intimidated, according to a taped statement and other documents released Thursday.

…”This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park,” Allen, who is white, told police in a taped statement after his arrest. Allen said he feared he “was about to be a statistic” and would have said anything just to get away. Allen, who couldn’t be reached for comment Thursday, has repeatedly declared his innocence, his intention to fight the charges and his desire to stay in office.

For a man scared out of his f*cking gourd at the Giant Stocky Negro about to attack him, Allen sure handled himself well with this improv, from the police report:

The officer: “I was standing against the far wall of the stall. Allen closed the door behind him and stood against it. I said “what’s up” and Allen said “Hi.” Allen then said “this is kind of a public place isn’t it.” I said “do you have somewhere else where we can go?” Allen said “How about across the bridge it’s quite [sic] over there.” Allen engaged me in a conversation in which he agreed to pay me $20.00 in order to perform a “blow job” on me.”

The above exchange took place after Allen entered the restroom twice cruising, peeped over the stall wall at the officer and then pushed open the door to join the officer to proposition him.

We should all react with such innovative self-defense maneuvers when confronted by a menacing Big Black Buck in the Bathroom. Penis-in-mouth = getaway car.

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Many thanks to The Rude One for letting me drop by again (read my guest post from last year, It's All About the Sex). You can read slightly less rude material at Pam's House Blend.