New York Police Union Chief: "Hey, Fuck You, Rudy":
The suspension of disbelief required to support Rudy Giuliani for president is not unlike watching a porn film and thinking, "You know, maybe if I deliver pizza to that hot chick down the street when she didn't order any, she'll fuck me, too." You have to remember that a) the guy in the video has a bigger cock than you, and b) even if they're really fucking, they're only doing it because they're both getting paid to. But, still, delusions persist, pizzas get delivered willy-nilly on a hope and a hard-on, and people say they want Rudy Giuliani to be president.

The stunning thing is that, despite the fact that time and again, Giuliani is shown to be a fraud, people keep clinging to him. (Seriously, Republicans. McCain is the only moderately sane choice you have.) So it's up to the Rudy to bite Rudy on the ass. Like his past catching up with him when it comes to Bernard Kerik. Or when it comes to his treatment of the police union like it's filled with whiny titty babies.

New York police union President Patrick Lynch (and his magnificent coif) told the New York Post that Rudy can go fuck himself: "The New York City Patrolmen's Benevolent Association could never support Rudy Giuliani for any elected office." Or: hey, motherfucker, it's payback time.

Lynch continued, "The inability to keep veteran cops on the job or to recruit adequate numbers of new ones can be traced directly back to the Giuliani mayoralty...While the city was rolling in money, the Giuliani administration cried future poverty and stuck New York City police officers with 3½ years without a raise. Giuliani's 'zeroes for heroes' contracts held police pay stagnant while all the other local departments in the metro area were getting modest but steady raises...Today, there are simply not enough NYPD police officers to keep this city safe, and it is Giuliani's fault." The Giuliani campaign responded, but, truly, who the fuck cares.

Now, whatever you may or may not know about the union's 1996-7 contract negotiation with Giuliani (and, of course, it's more complicated than either side wants in a soundbite), it's a kick in the nuts to Rudy's tough guy fakery. Does Giuliani really want to get into a bar fight when, just before negotiating the two-year pay freezes for the cops and the firefighters, he gave himself a $35,000 a year raise, including a $20,000 lump sum in December 1995?

Then, turning Giuliani over to fuck him in his face, Lynch, whose hair really is a sight to behold, went after Rudy's 9/11 cred: "Rudy Giuliani has no real credentials as a terrorism fighter...Giuliani has wrapped himself firmly in the cloak of 9/11 for his own political purposes. But the real heroes of 9/11 — those who helped to evacuate those towers and lived to tell the tale, and all those who participated in the recovery and cleanup — know the truth."

One of the fascinating things about Giuliani's 2002 book Leadership, other than its pandering, pedantic style, the equivalent of a literary combover, is what's absent. Giuliani, who touts himself as ready to step into the roles of foreign affairs expert and commander-in-chiefiness, doesn't mention visiting other countries on any kind of official duties, if at all, in the book. In fact, other than Sicilian connections to his mob convictions and giving foreign leaders hand jobs at the World Trade Center's burning hole, the only times Giuliani even deals with anything international is when he gives himself mad props for making Yasser Arafat uncomfortable at Lincoln Center and when he speechifies about 9/11 at the United Nations.

And terrorism? In the index, it gets 3 pages of mention, other than the aforementioned speech. Judith Nathan gets far, far more mention (and semen) than does the subject of terrorism. As do the Yankees (mention and Rudy jizz).

There's another thing in Leadership that should disabuse anyone of Rudy's bright and shining dome of good goodness. More on that later this week.