Hannity Goes Down on Palin:
Fox "news" host Sean Hannity knew he had quite the task in front of him when he first gazed at Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin's snatch. Not that there was anything unusual about the actual genitalia itself - everything seemed to be in its right place - but it was the length of time he had challenged himself to give head to the Alaska governor. During the course of an interview that would last a pair of nights on his show, he would have to bring out all the tricks he had, walking that delicate line between keeping her satisfied and getting her to come too soon. But if any man was up to the task, why, Sean Hannity was that man.

Hannity had worked out his manly jaw and tiny tongue in the days leading up to the interview, gnawing on the bones of his co-host, doing smaller cunnilingual actions on Lynne Cheney and Karen Hughes, but those were mere warm-ups. He felt ready, even with his obvious disadvantage of lacking lips, even if he needed to be a bit more spitty for lubrication with Cheney.

Led into the room in Cleveland, he was offered a pillow, which he spurned. No, he needed nothing to keep him energized and comfortable. Palin seemed to leer as she lifted her skirt, she might have even winked, although it was hard to tell if that was just a twitch from her natural sneer of contempt. Hannity kneeled down in front of her. Palin said, "You better be good at this, or I'm bringing O'Reilly in here." The dark-haired personality-less personality assured her that he would be good. Then he told the producer to make sure the mikes were hot and start rolling.

Hannity parted the self-proclaimed hockey mom's legs a bit more and started ever so slowly, tenderly, even, using his tongue to get a feel for these labia, for this clit. He asked, in reference to her snap decision to accept John McCain's offer, "Was there time to huddle and have a hockey team meeting?"

Hannity sucked a little on her clit's hood so that he didn't even notice when she lied, "It was a time of asking the girls to vote on it, anyway. And they voted unanimously, yes. Didn't bother asking my son because, you know, he's going to be off doing his thing anyway, so he wouldn't be so impacted by, at least, the campaign period here." Yes, yes, Palin thought, this one knows how, this one has some skill, not like that Gibson who glanced at her cooter and gave it an unenthusiastic finger or two.

Pulling his tongue across her taint, ever so teasingly hitting the rim of her anus and moving back, Hannity began to get a feel for the ex-mayor's clit, a bit bigger than many, but not as monstrously huge as he had been told. Moving it up and down, asking about the meltdown on Wall Street, rotating it a bit, which made her get a bit defensive about John McCain saying "the fundamentals of the economy are sound," he got the moan he was looking for with an X-shaped motion, which was when he asked, "Is Senator Obama then using what happened on Wall Street this week? Is he using it for political gain? Is there a danger of a presidential candidate is saying to the world that America's situation of economic crisis is the worst that we've seen in decades — which was words that he was using yesterday — is there a danger in terms of the world hearing that?"

Palin, sucking her cheeks in, adjusting her ass ever so slightly, leaning in to Hannity's skilled tongue (although, truth be told, she did miss lips on her lips), her talking points flowed out of her like juice from a ripe plum: "Well, there is a danger in allowing some obsessive partisanship to get into the issue that we're talking about today. And that's something that John McCain too, his track record, proving that he can work both sides of the aisle, he can surpass the partisanship that must surpassed to deal with an issue like this."

God, god, empty, empty, such obviously empty rhetoric, and Hannity didn't care, didn't ask follow-ups, it was, in a word, amazing, Palin thought. This bastard just wants to give my pussy even more of ride than First Dude does.

Hannity, for his part, knew he had to be careful. He couldn't let her come early, however excited she seemed, however engorged she became. He nipped her clit to indicate a calming moment as he probed deeper and deeper into her, hands on her ass cheeks, just massaging now, not grabbing. "How do you make this happen? Look how partisan it is in Washington right now. How do you get that accomplished?" he asked, referring to government reform and the supposedly non-partisan way John McCain had in his career.

Sucking her pinkie and wanting Hannity to go back to working her clit, maybe using his nubby fingers on her, she said, "John McCain tapped me to be a team of mavericks, of independents coming in there without the allegiances to that cronyism, to that good ole' boy system." On the word "maverick," she bucked like riding a bull, and Hannity obligingly started to finger fuck her while kissing and biting at her thighs.

On and on it went. Hannity keeping his pace fast and then slow, asking her about giving money back to the citizens of Alaska (with which they could have, you know, paid for a bridge to anywhere in their state without bugging the federal government), through to what she supposedly accomplished in Alaska to what her duties as vice president might be. "Yes," Palin cried, again and again, letting Hannity know that each move he made was the one she needed, the one that kept her on script.

The closest she came to exploding in screaming orgasm was when Hannity started asking her about drilling in ANWR. Really, who wouldn't? All that talk about boring into just a small patch on an entire body as Hannity practically lifted her off the seat, nearly growling as his own animal desire was taking over, index finger in her asshole, tongue practically wrapped around her pulsating clit. But, no, no, not yet, there was still more to go, another whole night to fill.

Hannity brought it back to energy independence, and, hair tousled, chest heaving, Palin responded, "We sort of have a 'do nothing Senate' right now where nobody's wanting to really pick up the ball and run with it and take the steps that we have to take to become more energy independent. And it's going to take a whole change in leadership in order to really crush that gridlock and get going on this."

Sean Hannity didn't even see the irony in a Republican talking about "a whole change in leadership." There was Palin pussy to eat. Virginal to Fox "news." He just hoped that at the end, she'd let him jack off on her glasses. But even if she didn't, it'd be okay. He was a man with a job to do, and he knew how to do it well. Indeed, if ever a man was made for oral deference to a Republican, it was Hannity.