In Brief: No, We Don't Have Him to Kick Around Anymore, But the Foot Can't Help It:


That's the former leader of the free world once again pretending that he's got working class cred, going to Elliot's Hardware Store in Dallas, Texas, where he had been offered a job as a greeter. To demonstrate his vast knowledge of hardware, Bush bought flashlights, batteries, and WD-40.

By the way, apparently Bush's neighbors will need anal probes to enter their street:


The Secret Service will be running the entrance to the neighborhood. Bend over, rich Dallas socialites. You're about to be treated like America.