Friday Fun Quotes (Texas "Education" Edition):
Let us say, and why not, that you heard these quotes from someone who calls himself a "minister":

On Hurricane Katrina: "The immediate question arises in many Christians minds: was Katrina God's judgment on America in general, and/or was it His judgment on that area of the country, or on New Orleans in particular?"- From September 8, 2005

On gay marriage: "This is a Satanic attack on God's order of creation, and Christians must resist this with everything we have. The fight against the homosexual agenda is spiritual warfare of the highest order, but it must be waged not only with the spiritual weapons of prayer, but also with all the political, and social weapons that we are able to utilize." - From July 20, 2006

On the financial crisis: "If, as I suspect, the financial meltdown is part of His judgment on us because of our growing moral and spiritual rejection of His standards, then He may very well let us sink into severe straits in order to bring us back to Himself. Perhaps we will not come to repentance about abortion and homosexuality and pornography and gambling and greed and sexual immorality and all the rest of it until the economy is so bad that we cry out for mercy." - From November 13, 2008

Now, you may read that and think, "Well, sure, that's some fringe shit there, some way out there ultra-fundamentalist fucktardery," or words to that effect. And you'd probably be right if the Texas State Board of Education wasn't about to appoint Peter Marshall, no, not the former host of Hollywood Squares, but the writer and/or speaker of all of the above and the leader of the surprisingly humbly-named "Peter Marshall Ministries," to an expert panel on the social studies curriculum at Texas public schools. Guess that means X takes the square.

Oh, and they've also decided to appoint another guy, David Barton, who believes that all public policy should be guided - no, controlled - by the bible, including taxes. As the Texas Freedom Network points out, surely there's a, you know, university scholar or two who might be more qualified. And, yes, there are conservative historians who don't suck Christ's toes every chance they get. But kickin' the Jesus jams is what this is about.

So there's the next battleground for the Christian right to shove their bible up the asses of schoolkids: social studies. The TFN helpfully points out: "The state board is scheduled to adopt revised social curriculum standards in March 2010. Publishers will use those standards to write new textbooks for Texas classrooms. The board is scheduled to adopt those new social studies textbooks in 2012."

Again and again, the Rude Pundit has said that when other states make their students stupid, they are inflicting that stupid on the rest of the nation. The rest of us have to deal with the arrested intellects of your bible-beaten zomboids, shrinking ranks though they may be. Fuck, Marshall doesn't even believe that Christian kids should get a public school education unless they have to walk between Jesus's legs to get into the classroom.

Now, what's the argument for not just letting Texas fuckin' bail on the U.S.?