Indian-American Says Everyone Should Act White Because MLK Would Want You To

Indian-American Says Everyone Should Act White Because MLK Would Want You To:
Whenever you watch a male politician suck his own dick, it's hard to avert your eyes. If it's a fat bastard like Newt Gingrich, there's something of a slapstick farce element to seeing if he can actually do more than a red-faced lollipop lick of tiny prick. But when he's a skinny, long-necked fuck, like Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, it's fascinating to see how much he gets into deep-throating that cock. For Jindal can contort himself into a shape that defies description, something between a pretzel and crab, and he goes at himself like a Hoover set on deep pile. And there's one thing you learn watching Bobby Jindal blow himself: the man's a swallower.

Jindal, who has destroyed the education system of his state, takes pride in denying affordable health care to its uninsured, and is distinctly unpopular there, penned an editorial in Politico this weekend titled "The End of Race" as a commemoration of the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech. What does Jindal, a man who in just about every speech and TV appearance reminds us that he was born from immigrants in India (and does so in this editorial), believe about race in America? That "we still place far too much emphasis on our 'separateness,' our heritage, ethnic background, skin color, etc."

See, the problem isn't racism, per se, but race itself, on the hyphenate identities people have, like Indian-America. Jindal scribbles, "Here’s an idea: How about just 'Americans?' That has a nice ring to it, if you ask me. Placing undue emphasis on our 'separateness' is a step backward. Bring back the melting pot."

And MLK himself would agree with Gov. Jindal, according to Gov. Jindal: "We all remember learning in grade school about America as the great 'melting pot' — a concept that was completely compatible with Dr. King’s dream of every American being judged on the content of his character and not the color of his skin."

Man, conservatives fuckin' love that line from King's speech at the National Mall 50 years ago. They cling to it like a life raft in the sea of their own bullshit. Look, they can say, MLK said, "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." They use that to strip the radicalism out of King's rhetoric and say that he's just one of them, looking to erase race from the equation of daily life.

Which is, you know, not what King was saying at all. Here's one line from the Big Speech that upends any right-winger desperate attempt to co-opt King: "We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one." Have we gotten there yet?

But this isn't about King. It's about Bobby Jindal, who was born "Piyush," and who is disappointed in us, America: "When I look at America, I see a country that increasingly has lost its way in terms of morality. As a Christian, as I look at American culture over the past half century, I don’t like a lot of what I see. Divorce is through the roof, pornography is everywhere, sexual predators are on the loose and on the Internet, our abortion rate is higher than almost every First World country, vulgarity and profanity are mainstream and commonplace."

What the fuck does Bobby Jindal want? Because, see, that paragraph up there sounds like the righteous rant of a moral man. But it's actually a clusterfuck of hypocrisy and doubletalk. You wanna know why "our abortion rate" is higher? It's because those "First World" countries offer comprehensive sex education and access to contraception. It's because those "First World" countries do the truly Christian thing and offer universal health care and other support so that having a child isn't as huge a financial burden. And those "First World" countries that Jindal admires for their lower abortion rates aren't tight-assed about vulgarity and profanity and sexuality in the public sphere. Oh, and the rate of sex crimes has plummeted in the United States, despite higher reporting rates, probably at least partially because of easy access to pornography. But, no, really, making fact-free statements of Christian belief without actually taking Christian action is par for the course for conservative Christians such as Jindal (who, we should always remember, performed an exorcism on a woman because...oh, who the fuck knows...so let's say "because demons").

Jindal specifically places the blame for the ills, in part, on his belief that "people" come to "America" and refuse to get with the program: "You come to the United States and you become an American, regardless of your heritage, your ethnicity, your traditions, or your accent. But now we seem to act as if that melting pot is passé, an antiquated notion."

But the Governor, brown savior of the GOP that he is, doesn't say what "being American" is, and that's because the answer is too, well, gee, shit, racist to say: It means acting like middle class white people. Or, really, the fantasy image of those white people circa 1955 or so (which means no rights for blacks, but, hey, content of character, you know?).

This fantasy American never existed. This fantasy America never existed. That doesn't stop Jindal from saying that we should strive to live up to a fantasy. This delusional motherfucker thinks he's saying something profound when all he's doing is telling us to act like the people on TV when he was a kid. He says he honors his ethnic identity while still honoring his national one. But isn't the hope that one can express one's difference something that actually makes America "American"? That's a fantasy, too, that you can come here and try to be free and no one will tell you to act like someone else.

Jindal has contorted himself so much that, like much of the GOP, he would be able to shove his head up his own ass. But knowing his proclivity toward self-pleasuring, he'd probably just lick his own prostate.