Pity the Bullied White, Straight, Conservative Christians

Back in March, the GOP's soon-to-be exiled idiot duchess, Michele Bachmann, said at some conservative conference of yahoodom, "[T]he thing that I think is getting a little tiresome is the gay community have so bullied the American people and they have so intimidated politicians that politicians fear them and they think they get to dictate the agenda everywhere."

Gay bullies are everywhere, it seems, making the poor, poor homophobes feel bad. Hell, a couple of years ago, Dan "It Gets Better" Savage was accused of bullying Christian kids because he said he's sick of hearing the Bible used to justify hate. In Iowa last year, religious leaders said Christian kids were being bullied into going to a conference on LGBTQ issues. In fact, some conservatives believe that anti-bullying programs are promoting bullying of bullies by telling them to stop bullying. "We are beginning to see Christians, Christian ideals, and Christian values become the most bullied things in all of this nation," said this one guy who you'll never hear about again. Yeah, Christians should be allowed to freely express themselves and vote to prevent certain groups from having rights because otherwise you're bullying them.

It goes further than the gay bullies bullying the people who think that gays should stop being all gay. On CNN's hairless runt of a show, Crossfire, during a "debate" over climate change, dimwitted talktrix S.E. Cupp said of Bill Nye and others who follow the, you know, science and facts on global warming, "Isn’t it a problem when ‘science guys’ attempt to bully other people?"

So the nerds and the queers are now the bullies? Up is down, people. Up is down.

It goes on: The Washington Times's Rusty Humphries (which sounds like a sexual position in Nebraska) declares a "Liberal Bully of the Week." This week it's "climate-change con artists" who are the "government bureaucrats and academia bullying people into feeling ashamed of their productivity and prosperity, making us feel frightened enough to accept more government control over our lives and our wallets." Last week it was John Kerry. A couple of weeks ago it was the Bureau of Land Management for daring to enforce the law against Cliven Bundy and his armed rednecks.

The bullies are coming for rich people by wanting them to pay a slightly higher marginal tax rate and hike in the minimum wage. They're coming for white people by making them understand that being white still gives them a huge advantage in life in America over non-whites. The victims of the bullies say they won't apologize. They won't change. They won't give in, no matter how many wedgies or purple nurples they get. Ben Shapiro wrote an entire book on how liberals are such mean meanies.

Let's get this right, okay? When someone tells you that the things you believe are wrong, it's not bullying. When someone says that facts clearly demonstrate that your opinion is false, it's not bullying. According to conservatives, teachers are bullying students if they point out that Reagan wasn't a demi-god who never did anything bad.

What's actually happening is that for decades, for centuries, the white, straight, conservative Christians have gotten to dictate the terms of the argument. They were used to being the home team. Now, with changes in demographics and changes in beliefs, they're increasingly playing an away game. Everyone loves it when the hometown crowd chants for you. Of course, you don't like it when you're the visitors and they boo.

For a bunch of people who were and, to a great extent, still are bullies, you really are just wimps who are begging for a swirlie.