Armed Rednecks at the Border, Part 2:
Yesterday, the Rude Pundit wrote about the activities of the Minuteman Project, wherein deluded fuckers with guns ride the Arizona desert lookin' for illegals they can "detain" and turn over to the underfunded, undermanned Border Patrol. It's the kind of thing that makes Lou Dobbs and Pat Buchanan cream in their Sans-a-belts. But, oh, how readers were upset. The Rude Pundit is a "racist" because he uses the term "redneck," they claim (although how "redneck" has become a "race" is a bit confusing to him). The Rude Pundit doesn't "get it" when it comes to the sieve our borders have become, they wrote, because the "illegal immigrants" are taking over whole industries, like construction. The complainers claim they are not racist.

But, you know, let's put it this way: if, say, the northern border of the United States, you know, the one with Canada, was like the southern border, do you think most of the country would give a happy monkey fuck about large groups of English-speaking white people coming into the America? If the armed rednecks walked by construction sites and saw lots of white men putting up drywall, would they fuckin' blink? If the lawns of the Phoenix suburbs were watered, mowed, and shaped by white people, would anyone want those fuckers tossed out and/or arrested?

Why stop there? If large groups of undocumented white people crossed the border to pick fruit and vegetables, do you think the government would actually do something to the companies that treat this barely-above-slave labor so shabbily? (Well, not this administration, but some fantasy U.S. government that gives a shit about people.)

The problem, dear, dear antagonistic readers, is not really the illegals. Surely, they are lawbreakers, but like the pot smoker, the vast majority of the 11 million or so illegals are way, way low on the totem pole of lawlessness. The problem, as we learn all the time, is that America cannot survive without its slaves. And that goes for the slaves in the fields and the slaves in the factories of American companies overseas. The culture of corporate capitalism calls for slavery. You wanna reduce the flow of illegals? Dry up the sources of income (or treat them like, say, human beings) by targeting large corporations that rely on them. You wanna protect the borders? Then don't fuckin' vote for the guy who's gonna spend all the goddamn money on tax breaks and tryin' to take over another country.

(And, to be fair, many of the let's-hunt-us-some-subhumans set do say that America should take care of itself before going to war for the fuck of it. But every once in a while, a shit-hurling monkey is gonna hit a child molester at the zoo. And you can bet that they still voted for Bush.)

The Rude Pundit realizes that it's oh-so-out of fashion to look honestly at the past, but, fuck, and why not, let's take one of those little glimpses into history. Among the stupid, pathetic, demented gun wielders who make up the private militias of this country, as well as the border creepers, the myth goes that the Minutemen, back in the colonial days, were independent men who took the law into their hands to overcome the tyranny of the British, who, you know, ruled America. Not true. See, the Minutemen were part of the well-regulated militias of each colony, first in Massachusetts, but then elsewhere. They were the elite soldiers, young men (under 25) picked by their commanding officers, to be the first to battle or to preserve the peace. The militias were, in essence, the National Guard. They faced Indian uprisings, the French, and localized violence. However, once the American Revolution began in earnest, and a more organized national army was necessary. The Minutemen became soldiers in that military and they were Minutemen no longer; they were part of the Revolutionary Army.

Those who fashion themselves after the Revolutionaries at the beginning of the nation forget one important thing: they were fighting a stronger, better-armed, better-trained empire that wanted to wreck the chance for freedom and self-governance, that wanted to kill and/or jail colonists who opposed it. The current Minutemen, the poor, lied-to bastards, driven mad by post-9/11 fears of brown people making incursions into Arizona, roaming the desert night and day? Let's put it this way: if the Revolutionaries decided to completely ignore the British and only kill Indians, it might be analogous.

Christ, don't the new "Minutemen" (and let's start pronouncing it "My-newt-men") know they're making "citizen's arrests" of the wrong people? Or is it about the joy of the hunt, like catchin' a fish and tossin' it back?