Eleven Things the Rude Pundit Learned While Getting Fellated By a Catholic Priest:
-- The poor priest seems to believe that being a sucker of cock rather than the one getting his cock sucked allows him to keep his vows.

-- Hard for the priest to hear confession when there's hands on his ears, slamming his holy face home.

-- Harder for the priest to give someone penance when there's a cock in his mouth.

-- Although it feels awfully sweet on the Rude Pundit's urethra when the priest tries to say the "Our Father."

-- Difficult to get stains out of the wool cassock; always wear the cotton/poly blend when you're fellating away.

-- It's distracting to keep hearing the bishop getting blown in the pews.

-- Swinging rosary beads tickle one's balls.

-- The priest likes to think he's eating the body of Christ.

-- The wooden grate of a confession booth is really easy to poke a larger hole through.

-- A man who keeps sucking off little boys is easily impressed.

-- Remember: it's Benedict, not "Been a dick."