Gang-Raping Liberty:
Once upon a time, the Rude Pundit was called upon to plan a bachelor party, and he was challenged by the groom to make it a "wild, end of my single days" bash. So, being the good party planner, he rented a house for the evening and hired a stripper to come out and entertain the troops at the house, figuring that titties in private is better than titties in public. The party went off without a hitch, with the crazed wedding party males going berzerker and tearing up all the houseplants in the rented space, with so much beer and scotch and whatever downed that people were pukin' in the icebox, in the fish tank, everywhere they thought pukin' would be funny. There was porn goin' on the different televisions around the place. The Rude Pundit stayed sober, outside the decadence, figuring someone needed to be able to, say, drive if called upon. For the most part, he was an observer, bemusedly watching the decadence.

Then it was time for the stripper, and, man, she was good. She shook her titties in everyone's faces and shoved her kooz up and down, back and forth on the crotch of the nearly disabled-drunk groom. It was all well and good, since if the completely fucked-up groom had gotten a hard-on, he'd've been like unto a mad god of erections. When she started pantsing the groom and humpin' him on his underwear, the Rude Pundit heard a rumble begin to go through the crowd of horny, drunk, doped-up, jacked-up-on-porn asshole guys: if she reaches into his Fruit of the Looms, it means she wants a gang bang, it means she wants to be fucked backwards, forwards, by a train, man. The assholes began to lean in to the center area where the stripper fantasy fucked the groom, who was nearly passed out.

When you know such things are about to occur, when you realize that violence and rape are going to rear their ugly heads, you are left with precious few options. You can jump in and join the fun. You can walk away, deciding, "Fuck it. Not my crime, not my business." Or you can put a stop to it.

Americans from members of Congress down to Jimmy Nascar Fuckmydaughter are making that decision now. With the growing horrible understanding of just what exactly is happening in this country, to this country, by this country, there's an understanding of one's own complicity in the degradation of the nation. Unfortunately, the Republicans in Congress still wanna either jump in or walk away as the Bush adminstration continues its prolonged gang rape of the body politic, its savage sodomizing of the ass of Lady Justice, its unbelievably vicious fucking of Lady Liberty's sweet face, all the while making the Founders of the nation watch, aghast, as the Bush adminstration gleefully sports its hooked demon cock so as to tear the flesh of those it rapes.

But more and more, the choice of the vast majority of Americans, a real mandate, is that this must end. That we've sat on the sidelines long enough. That those responsible must not only be told to stop, but they must be thrown against a wall, that they must be excised like a cancerous tumor, hoping and praying that it's not too late, it's not too late, to cease this before it drags us all down. And that those who enable it are complicit in the rape even if they keep their dicks in their pockets.

Back at the bachelor party, the Rude Pundit stopped the music. He headed into the middle of the circle and let the stripper take a bow before putting a robe around her and leading her away, quickly gettin' her dressed and drivin' her back to the strip club. He wondered if, when he returned, the boner-sportin' partygoers would have fucked the prone groom, but the only rage that had ensued was that one of the party boys, no doubt in a mixture of mitigated lust and coke, head-butted a hole in the wall and sat there bleeding, demi-erect cock still throbbing through his jeans. And half the group had left to potentially kill people on the road and the other half were sittin' silently, watchin' porn, waitin' to go home to jack off.

No, it wasn't exactly heroic, but no one was harmed that didn't have it coming.