Hi, Cutie!

Is that snot hanging from your nostril? No, not the one in the middle, the left one. Oh, my bad. It's just an abnormally long nose hair.

What fun this rudeness thing! Many thanks to the Rude One for inviting me to thumb my nose at you all. Just kidding, of course, or rather practising rudeness before I get to the meat of my post.

Which is a nice, old-fashioned rant on the corrupt and/or insipid politicians of this country. Take the Democrats first, if you please. They are pink jelly kept upright by sincere ties or underwire bras. They are sooo domesticated to be the underdogs in politics, well fed by the corpocracy and occasionally belly-rubbed by the wingnuts in the Republican party. The vast majority of establishment Democrats are cuddly money-grabbing unprincipled specks of do-not-hear-evil, not because they are good, but because it's so comfy there in the laps of wingnuttery. Too much trouble to actually go out to find what Americans might need. There are exceptions to this rule, true, but too few to make a dent in this post. And even the good ones can't get it up or get up off their tender asses.

But if the Democrats are tame pups or little motes- in- my- eye, the Republicans are rabid rats and as big as any Biblical mote they might use as a beam. Picture that: Gigantic rabid Bible-thumping money-grabbing rats. Most likely infected with the plague, too, or at least greed and pseudofundamentalism. And they run our country, this world and our lives. Aren't you happy to live in such interesting times?

Up is down these days, and we have always been at war with Oceania. The American "left" is treasonous, doubleplus anti-good, and this post is now an example of hate speech. Any criticism of the administration is treason. There are no longer facts in international politics, just opinions, and all problems can be solved by killing lots of innocent bystanders, or if that fails, by applying corporate marketing strategies. Why do they hate our freedoms? Let's get a better brand image! Let's not bother with the boring stuff like learning history of an area we attack or the languages the brown people there might speak. Let's just awe them to acquiescence.

Aren't you happy to have the world's most powerful country led by a guy who is somewhat lacking in the sorts of skills one expects from the Leader of an Empire? You know, ability to spell, ability to find various countries in a map, knowledge of some basic history and other such trivialities. Ability to walk upright. -- At least he would be fun to have a beer with, they say. I beg to disagree. He'd spew it all over me trying to get a peek at my cleavage. That's who is running our lives, my dears.

And how. The last six years have seen us start a totally inexplicable war but not finish it. They have also seen the insitutions and laws of this country, including the Bill of Rights, under continous assault from the rabid rats, and all this has an enormous price tag. Not only have needless lives been lost but the very foundations of this nation are trembling. Trembling. Still, the rich are getting richer and everybody else is getting shafted. So there is that.

And soon we will have the Laws of the Jungle in operation in the United States of Talibamerica, with armed enclaves for the very rich and the opportunity for lots of exercize running away from drug dealers and such for the rest of us. Women will be well cared for in Talibamerica. We will also have Bible schools instead of education, though the bits about the camel and the eye of the needle will be cut out of the Bible school textbooks. Unless some Republican entrepreneur manages to breed miniature camels.

That last paragraph could be an exaggeration. But the media isn't helping to keep us from veering towards the United States of Wingnuttia. Time and time again they describe the heinous deeds of the rabid rats from the right and then ask: "But what do the Democrats STAND for?" As if there is no better plan for the future than destroying the world while waiting for the apocalypse to happen. Or rather, while helping it all along. Imagine what these journalists would have asked about the opposition to Ghenghis Khan. Sure, he kills and spits people and such. Sure, he gets his kicks from torture. But do you present any credible alternative at all? Do you have a plan?

Isn't trying to keep this country going a credible alternative? Isn't trying to conserve what is worth conserving (now that the conservatives stand for destruction instead) a credible alternative? Isn't sanity a credible alternative to madness? I guess not.

And yes, I described Democrats as having been punched out from pink jelly by molds shaped like suits, but even jelly can do a better job than the wackos currently in power in this country. Or put in another way: What other fucking chance do we have?

That was fun.

Oops! I nearly forgot to invite you all over to my blog.