Understanding the NIE and the Global Warming Report in a Single Handy Image:
1. According to the declassified key judgments of the National Intelligence Estimate, the position of the United States in Iraq is roughly analogous to, say, a guy who's had his dick nailed to a dinner table in a room that's been set on fire. Motherfucker's only got a few choices, none of them good. And, really, what you'd choose pretty much says where you stand on the war. If you're the Bush administration and its enablers, you try to pick up the table and get out of the door; of course, the table's not gonna fit, but you'll just keep trying to get out with your dick until the whole place burns up, taking you with it. If you're opposed to the war, you say, "Fuck it," rip your dick off, and get the fuck out of there, hoping that maybe medical science'll one day be able to fashion you a peter out of your ass muscles.

If you're a soldier or an Iraqi citizen, well, you're just standing there, hoping someone rescues you before you're a crisp.

2. According to the report by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, the position of the United States in the global warming crisis is roughly analogous to, say, a guy who's had his dick nailed to a dinner table in a room that's been set on fire. Motherfucker's only got a few choices, none of them good. And, really, what you'd choose pretty much says where you stand on global warming. If you're the Bush administration and its enablers, you try to pick up the table and get out of the door; of course, the table's not gonna fit, but you'll just keep trying to get out with your dick until the whole place burns up, taking you with it. If you think that it's way past time to do what the report recommends, you say, "Fuck it," rip your dick off, and get the fuck out of there, hoping that maybe medical science'll one day be able to fashion you a peter out of your ass muscles.

If you're an American - hell, a human being, well, you're just standing there, hoping someone rescues you before you're a crisp.

And if you're a global warming denier, you tell yourself over and over that it's not getting so hot in here.

As we gear up for an Iran-tastic spring, can't we just ask that we leave the room before our dicks are nailed down again?

Meanwhile, in the Senate, they're debating about debating about using a garden hose to stop the wildfires from engulfing the house.