Oh, Thank Heaven For September 11:
Let us say, and why not, that in the year 2000, the Supreme Court of the United States, in all its infinite wisdom, installed a six-foot high steaming pile of shit as President of this country. Oh, sure, some might say that a six-foot high steaming pile of shit is unqualified to be President, but the Supreme Court said so and Al Gore walked away, saying, "For the good of the nation, I will not challenge the right of a six-foot high steaming pile of shit to take office." In the first few months of the six-foot high steaming pile of shit's tenure, things in the nation would have gone down the toilet, much as they actually did, since, you know, a six-foot high steaming pile of shit is not noted for its decision-making abilities. Then September 11, 2001 happened, and at that moment of deep shock and hurt and violence (remember: we originally thought there might be as many as 10,000 people dead), in the confusion and anger, a six-foot high steaming pile of shit could have been propped on top of the ruins of the World Trade Center on September 14 and the nation would have rallied around that six-foot high steaming pile of shit because we needed something to comfort us. A six-foot high steaming pile of shit would have been what was available, and, thus, a six-foot high steaming pile of shit would have been our hero.
Goddamn, the Republicans must be thrilled that 9/11 happened, because what the fuck else would they have to talk about? Yesterday, the Republican Convention was all war, all the time, with Rudy Giuliani, whose post-mayoral speaker fees went through the roof because 3000 people died on 9/11, mentioned September 11 no less than 10 times in his speech. John McCain consigned (at least) hundreds of more Americans to screaming, horrible death and injury in Iraq with his strange, mad rantings about how we have to demonstrate we love freedom by killing those who don't. (This is not to mention the pressure valve release moment of McCain dissing Michael Moore, which allowed the crowd to boo, hiss, and scream at Moore, as well as begin a bizarre chant of "Four Moore years." It was one of the only times during the day that we saw the true face of Republican hate.)
Since George Bush's "leadership" after September 11 is what's being touted as his great strength, let us remember not only the infamous seven-minute slow burn of "Oh, fuck, I'm gonna shit myself in front of schoolchildren" in Florida, but let us remember that the President was on the run, hopping around the country like a jackrabbit on acid, thinking it sees wolves everywhere. The "leadership" of Bush ain't about standing on the rubble three days later. It's about a man who chose to run away. At least a six-foot high steaming pile of shit would have stayed put. And in the days after we finally found out that we still had a President? Why, we know, we know now that he and his administration immediately set about trying to bomb Iraq, no matter what. Yeah, man, that's leadership. Take advantage when everyone's distracted. Sweep up later.
What the Republicans promise America on their first night is terror and fear, terror and fear. The problem with the Democrats and their nauseatingly repetitive invocation of Kerry's 'Nam experience is that the Dems were trusting the public to make the connection: Oh, yeah, Kerry served, Bush didn't. Instead, the connection needs to be made explicit, otherwise the whole emphasis on 'Nam is useless: when push came to shove, who ran? Who kept on running scared every chance he had to show he was tough?
September 11, 2001 is just a tool. One doesn't need to wrap oneself in the flag anymore. One just needs to coat oneself in the ashes of the towers, ashes filled with burnt flesh and bone. Bush is attempting to make a great tragedy into his greatest asset: just think, if it hadn't been for 9/11, we'd have never known what a "great" leader our President is. Thank Jesus we've had that opportunity.
Sunday Nowhere Near the Park Without George:
So the Rude Pundit marched. Along with, depending on your news source, 500,000 others, 200,000 others, or 120,000 others. Either way, it was a hot motherfucker of a day, and if the march had been on the West Side Highway, where there's even less shade than the precious little on 7th Avenue, there would have surely been riots. Either way, there were too many vendors in the streets, from the obvious non-believers trying to score a buck to the desperately cash-free groups like the Revolutionary Workers Party and whatever variation on Socialists happens to be hawking buttons and bumper stickers. Either way, everyone was exploiting the massive crowd to the fullest extent allowed by socialists engaged in a capitalist enterprise. Either way, it was still disconcerting to see vanloads of cops ride through Union Square, many of them carrying rifles, all of them with billy clubs. Either way, it was either a great day or completely worthless (the protest is already off the front page of MSNBC's website) or some combination of the two, with the protesters just reminding themselves how much they give a shit. Either way, the Rude Pundit did not get laid at the end of the day - he won't say getting fucked was his first purpose in marching, but he will not say it was his last.
Yes, it was fun, with the great street theatre of Billionaires for Bush (who are getting lots of media time without the media understanding how radical they are, sort of like Dave Chappelle, where everyone thinks it's so cute and funny and thus de-fangs them) and the best counterprotest group, Communists for Kerry, running through the crowd dressed as Che Guevara and Trotsky (the Rude Pundit thinks they're a bunch of misguided tools who are doomed to Swift Boat Vet like bouts of self-recrimination, but, c'mon, it's funnier than Dennis Miller). And, yeah, the costumes were fun, with the dancing penis (who doesn't love a dancing penis? Oh, sorry, "Dick" for those not getting the Cheney joke), the giant dragon, the Code Pink ladies. The most transgressive may have been the group of women and male cross dressers who were decked out in fifties garb, chanting pro-choice slogans, one of whom was outfitted as a waitress holding a bent coathanger as she yelled. However none of these women would agree to leave the march in order to have a quick suck and fuck on a side street with the Rude Pundit. He thinks he could have gotten one of the cross-dressers, who was giving the Rude Pundit the winky eye, but men sweat so much in that kind of sun.
Along with the pro-choicers, there were those whose tangential issues just made one want to shout, "Focus, people, focus." "Free Mumia" is a fine (if a bit outdated) sentiment. Sure, maybe Aristide oughta be allowed back in Haiti. But, you know, we're kinda marchin' for a pretty big purpose, no? Oh, and sure, there were the sad, small group of Greens, promising us that our grandkids would thank us if we voted for . . . who? And the previously mentioned Revolutionary Workers Party, who threw Bush, Kerry, and Nader into the same trashbin of leadership. And, oh, the stacks of paper thrown at us, pamphlets and newspapers and guides, so much of it useless and badly written, so much of it trampled. The Rude Pundit tried to convince a young woman hawking The Militant that he would love to buy her a beer after the march and they could express their outrage at the capitalist imperialists, who wouldn't allow a Socialist candidate to debate Bush and Kerry, by roughly balling in an alley with a full view of the Stock Exchange, but such was her laser focus on getting subscriptions that she did not have time for such discourse.
So the march went on. And on. And on. Maybe a half a million people. Some with signs listing the others who wanted to be there but couldn't. Many with cell phones, calling friends and relatives to say, "Hey, watch C-SPAN, I'm passin' by cameras. You see me wavin'? You see me? You Tivo it? Cool." Many, many others who were watching on the sidelines who, for one reason or another, were inspired to grab some bit of corrugated cardboard to scrawl a "Fuck Bush" sign and join in the march. Many, many more of us who talked about how the real work was still to be done, up until and especially on Election Day. Many, many of us spoke to each other, in between chants and songs (if the Rude Pundit is forced to say, "Hey, Ho, George Bush has got to go" one more time, he will go batshit insane), about how this was all about the energy of the moment, about how things had gotten so bad so quickly in so many ways, that we could actually focus in on one man, one election. Had Bill Clinton ever inspired this energy against him in the streets?
Oh, how pissed Fox "News" must have been that there were no riots, relatively few arrests. Oh, how the cameras of the RNC must have been focused crazily all over the place looking for something they could use in ads. But, shockingly, horrifyingly for Fox, for the GOP, most, most of the maybe half a million were a spectrum of America. They're gonna have their party, they're gonna go up in the polls, but at some point, one way or another they're gonna have to deal with that maybe half a million.
So the Rude Pundit marched. Along with, depending on your news source, 500,000 others, 200,000 others, or 120,000 others. Either way, it was a hot motherfucker of a day, and if the march had been on the West Side Highway, where there's even less shade than the precious little on 7th Avenue, there would have surely been riots. Either way, there were too many vendors in the streets, from the obvious non-believers trying to score a buck to the desperately cash-free groups like the Revolutionary Workers Party and whatever variation on Socialists happens to be hawking buttons and bumper stickers. Either way, everyone was exploiting the massive crowd to the fullest extent allowed by socialists engaged in a capitalist enterprise. Either way, it was still disconcerting to see vanloads of cops ride through Union Square, many of them carrying rifles, all of them with billy clubs. Either way, it was either a great day or completely worthless (the protest is already off the front page of MSNBC's website) or some combination of the two, with the protesters just reminding themselves how much they give a shit. Either way, the Rude Pundit did not get laid at the end of the day - he won't say getting fucked was his first purpose in marching, but he will not say it was his last.
Yes, it was fun, with the great street theatre of Billionaires for Bush (who are getting lots of media time without the media understanding how radical they are, sort of like Dave Chappelle, where everyone thinks it's so cute and funny and thus de-fangs them) and the best counterprotest group, Communists for Kerry, running through the crowd dressed as Che Guevara and Trotsky (the Rude Pundit thinks they're a bunch of misguided tools who are doomed to Swift Boat Vet like bouts of self-recrimination, but, c'mon, it's funnier than Dennis Miller). And, yeah, the costumes were fun, with the dancing penis (who doesn't love a dancing penis? Oh, sorry, "Dick" for those not getting the Cheney joke), the giant dragon, the Code Pink ladies. The most transgressive may have been the group of women and male cross dressers who were decked out in fifties garb, chanting pro-choice slogans, one of whom was outfitted as a waitress holding a bent coathanger as she yelled. However none of these women would agree to leave the march in order to have a quick suck and fuck on a side street with the Rude Pundit. He thinks he could have gotten one of the cross-dressers, who was giving the Rude Pundit the winky eye, but men sweat so much in that kind of sun.
Along with the pro-choicers, there were those whose tangential issues just made one want to shout, "Focus, people, focus." "Free Mumia" is a fine (if a bit outdated) sentiment. Sure, maybe Aristide oughta be allowed back in Haiti. But, you know, we're kinda marchin' for a pretty big purpose, no? Oh, and sure, there were the sad, small group of Greens, promising us that our grandkids would thank us if we voted for . . . who? And the previously mentioned Revolutionary Workers Party, who threw Bush, Kerry, and Nader into the same trashbin of leadership. And, oh, the stacks of paper thrown at us, pamphlets and newspapers and guides, so much of it useless and badly written, so much of it trampled. The Rude Pundit tried to convince a young woman hawking The Militant that he would love to buy her a beer after the march and they could express their outrage at the capitalist imperialists, who wouldn't allow a Socialist candidate to debate Bush and Kerry, by roughly balling in an alley with a full view of the Stock Exchange, but such was her laser focus on getting subscriptions that she did not have time for such discourse.
So the march went on. And on. And on. Maybe a half a million people. Some with signs listing the others who wanted to be there but couldn't. Many with cell phones, calling friends and relatives to say, "Hey, watch C-SPAN, I'm passin' by cameras. You see me wavin'? You see me? You Tivo it? Cool." Many, many others who were watching on the sidelines who, for one reason or another, were inspired to grab some bit of corrugated cardboard to scrawl a "Fuck Bush" sign and join in the march. Many, many more of us who talked about how the real work was still to be done, up until and especially on Election Day. Many, many of us spoke to each other, in between chants and songs (if the Rude Pundit is forced to say, "Hey, Ho, George Bush has got to go" one more time, he will go batshit insane), about how this was all about the energy of the moment, about how things had gotten so bad so quickly in so many ways, that we could actually focus in on one man, one election. Had Bill Clinton ever inspired this energy against him in the streets?
Oh, how pissed Fox "News" must have been that there were no riots, relatively few arrests. Oh, how the cameras of the RNC must have been focused crazily all over the place looking for something they could use in ads. But, shockingly, horrifyingly for Fox, for the GOP, most, most of the maybe half a million were a spectrum of America. They're gonna have their party, they're gonna go up in the polls, but at some point, one way or another they're gonna have to deal with that maybe half a million.
Hey, Take Your Miscalculation and Shove It Up Your Lying Ass:
Here's why George Bush is such a pussy, a prison punk, a bitch: In what must be the least interesting interview ever done in the New York Times, Bush admits he made a "miscalculation of what the conditions would be" in Iraq. Now, see, usually a "miscalculation" is something like this: "Dear, you forgot to carry the one when you were balancing the checkbook. Looks like we'll have to tighten our belts this month" or "Gee, bud, she didn't say she was your girlfriend, but I guess it was hard for her to talk with my cock in her mouth." See that? Those are miscalculations. You might bounce a check or get bounced on the pavement, but your "miscalculations" don't end up in hundreds of Americans being blown up and shot. Bush may as well have said, "Ooops. My bad."
Bush's miscalculations used to just cause companies to go belly up. Once one has killed a few corporations, one needs to move on to other kinds of killing, no? Of course, the word "miscalculation" assumes that there were some "calculations" going on. And of course there were, but they had nothing to do with Iraq or the Iraqis. They only had to do with the election.
When pressed to "analyze" and "think" about other "mistakes" made in the occupation of Iraq, Bush demonstrated his usual erudition in saying that he would leave it to "historians" to analyze that. Ahh, now that was calculated because it allows Bush to say, "Not my fault. It's all up for interpretation." And with the very real possibility of taking on Iran as the 52nd state of the U.S., one might imagine that reflecting on "errors" in Iraq might be worthwhile. But then again, you're not President of the United States.
Isn't it wonderful to have an administration that's such a mass of contradictions. Like opposing declaring that global warming is occurring because of industrial emissions, yet having the administration put out a report saying that humans are causing global warming. Or opposing campaign finance reform until the middle of an election when, suddenly, you want to radically alter the finance laws you, ya know, opposed to ban ads from political action groups. One supposes that that indicates complexity, not confusion. Depth, not refusal to acknowledge reality. Leadership, not political convenience.
Goddamn, it must be nice to never have to actually be right about anything and to still have legions of believers. It's so pathetic. It's like watching all the doomsday cult leaders at the end of the last millenium, screaming and screaming about the end of the world, fucking all of their hot male and female followers because it doesn't matter who gets fucked anymore when the world is ending. And then watching the sad, sorry ass sight of all of those believers, so soundly fucked, when the world doesn't end. What do you do if you're one of them? Do you make the horrifying leap to, "Oh, shit, I just got conned and fucked? I'm outta here"? Or do you take the easy route and keep on following dear leader as he promises you more doomsdays to come?
Sweet Jesus, we can't wait for the GOP Convention.
Here's why George Bush is such a pussy, a prison punk, a bitch: In what must be the least interesting interview ever done in the New York Times, Bush admits he made a "miscalculation of what the conditions would be" in Iraq. Now, see, usually a "miscalculation" is something like this: "Dear, you forgot to carry the one when you were balancing the checkbook. Looks like we'll have to tighten our belts this month" or "Gee, bud, she didn't say she was your girlfriend, but I guess it was hard for her to talk with my cock in her mouth." See that? Those are miscalculations. You might bounce a check or get bounced on the pavement, but your "miscalculations" don't end up in hundreds of Americans being blown up and shot. Bush may as well have said, "Ooops. My bad."
Bush's miscalculations used to just cause companies to go belly up. Once one has killed a few corporations, one needs to move on to other kinds of killing, no? Of course, the word "miscalculation" assumes that there were some "calculations" going on. And of course there were, but they had nothing to do with Iraq or the Iraqis. They only had to do with the election.
When pressed to "analyze" and "think" about other "mistakes" made in the occupation of Iraq, Bush demonstrated his usual erudition in saying that he would leave it to "historians" to analyze that. Ahh, now that was calculated because it allows Bush to say, "Not my fault. It's all up for interpretation." And with the very real possibility of taking on Iran as the 52nd state of the U.S., one might imagine that reflecting on "errors" in Iraq might be worthwhile. But then again, you're not President of the United States.
Isn't it wonderful to have an administration that's such a mass of contradictions. Like opposing declaring that global warming is occurring because of industrial emissions, yet having the administration put out a report saying that humans are causing global warming. Or opposing campaign finance reform until the middle of an election when, suddenly, you want to radically alter the finance laws you, ya know, opposed to ban ads from political action groups. One supposes that that indicates complexity, not confusion. Depth, not refusal to acknowledge reality. Leadership, not political convenience.
Goddamn, it must be nice to never have to actually be right about anything and to still have legions of believers. It's so pathetic. It's like watching all the doomsday cult leaders at the end of the last millenium, screaming and screaming about the end of the world, fucking all of their hot male and female followers because it doesn't matter who gets fucked anymore when the world is ending. And then watching the sad, sorry ass sight of all of those believers, so soundly fucked, when the world doesn't end. What do you do if you're one of them? Do you make the horrifying leap to, "Oh, shit, I just got conned and fucked? I'm outta here"? Or do you take the easy route and keep on following dear leader as he promises you more doomsdays to come?
Sweet Jesus, we can't wait for the GOP Convention.
Swift Boat Vets -- Sooo Five Minutes Ago:
'Scuse us, but are we done here? Are we finished? Can we move this thing along? It was a nice distraction, a little turn off the main highway and all, but, really, and c'mon, isn't it time we got back on the map?
Let's see where we stand here:
Benjamin Ginsberg, who sports a head so shiny that small planets revolve around it, an attorney for Bush, resigned from the campaign because he was also "advising" the Swift Boat Vets for "Truth." On CNN this morning, Ginsberg brought it home, using every chance he had to say how fucking wonderful George Bush and "his" agenda are, taking the President's cock out of his mouth only to praise the "decorated veterans" who he represents.
John O'Neill, one of the authors of Unfit to Command, the bestseller devoted to the monomaniacal rantings of the Swift Boat vets, claimed he was never in Cambodia and that Kerry had to be lying because the border couldn't be crossed by the river, was caught on tape telling Richard Nixon, "I was in Cambodia." And, in what surely must be one of the great "hominah, homninah" moments, Alan Colmes, on Fox "News," revealing a heretofore unseen spine, drilled O'Neill with his own words, with O'Neill trying to deny he had said what, well, he had said.
And then there's the bizarre, seemingly self-destructive behavior of the Swift Boat Vets. There's the Oregon prosecutor, Alfred French, who may have committed ethics violations for signing an affidavit stating that he witnessed events involving Kerry that he had, in fact, only heard about. There's Larry Thurlow, the Swift Boat Vet who, in essence, says his own Bronze Star must be based on a lie because it's the same report that says the boats came under fire.
All that and not a single contemporaneous document that proves anything but the official reports on Kerry's service record. Why are we wasting time here?
It's simple. It's the Republican modus operandi. Find some nutcase or nutcases screaming on the corner. Clean 'em up and make 'em presentable. Give 'em a ton of money and exposure (it helps if your movement owns a well-financed "publishing" house that's one notch above a vanity press). And let your attack nutzoids in the media do the rest. It's the same reason that Paula Jones received any notice whatsoever. It's the same reason that anyone even thought twice that Vince Foster might have been murdered. If the Rude Pundit had the money, he could finance a book and tour for someone like Robin Lowman, who, it has been claimed, was forced to have an illegal abortion by George W. Bush in 1971. See? Isn't this game fun? Doesn't it help us progress as a society? Doncha love talkin' about the issues?
The Swift Boat Vets are a group of sad, deluded old men, deserving of pity as surely as they are deserving of contempt. Instead of getting the help they so critically need, they have been exploited by the supporters of the President (and, now, the President himself). Their madness has become mainstream; their mass hysteria allowed to spread. Can we call it done now? Can the Vets go back to simmering in their paneled dens, calling each other in the desperate dark of night, whispering in whiskey hushes about how they and only they know the truth?
'Scuse us, but are we done here? Are we finished? Can we move this thing along? It was a nice distraction, a little turn off the main highway and all, but, really, and c'mon, isn't it time we got back on the map?
Let's see where we stand here:
Benjamin Ginsberg, who sports a head so shiny that small planets revolve around it, an attorney for Bush, resigned from the campaign because he was also "advising" the Swift Boat Vets for "Truth." On CNN this morning, Ginsberg brought it home, using every chance he had to say how fucking wonderful George Bush and "his" agenda are, taking the President's cock out of his mouth only to praise the "decorated veterans" who he represents.
John O'Neill, one of the authors of Unfit to Command, the bestseller devoted to the monomaniacal rantings of the Swift Boat vets, claimed he was never in Cambodia and that Kerry had to be lying because the border couldn't be crossed by the river, was caught on tape telling Richard Nixon, "I was in Cambodia." And, in what surely must be one of the great "hominah, homninah" moments, Alan Colmes, on Fox "News," revealing a heretofore unseen spine, drilled O'Neill with his own words, with O'Neill trying to deny he had said what, well, he had said.
And then there's the bizarre, seemingly self-destructive behavior of the Swift Boat Vets. There's the Oregon prosecutor, Alfred French, who may have committed ethics violations for signing an affidavit stating that he witnessed events involving Kerry that he had, in fact, only heard about. There's Larry Thurlow, the Swift Boat Vet who, in essence, says his own Bronze Star must be based on a lie because it's the same report that says the boats came under fire.
All that and not a single contemporaneous document that proves anything but the official reports on Kerry's service record. Why are we wasting time here?
It's simple. It's the Republican modus operandi. Find some nutcase or nutcases screaming on the corner. Clean 'em up and make 'em presentable. Give 'em a ton of money and exposure (it helps if your movement owns a well-financed "publishing" house that's one notch above a vanity press). And let your attack nutzoids in the media do the rest. It's the same reason that Paula Jones received any notice whatsoever. It's the same reason that anyone even thought twice that Vince Foster might have been murdered. If the Rude Pundit had the money, he could finance a book and tour for someone like Robin Lowman, who, it has been claimed, was forced to have an illegal abortion by George W. Bush in 1971. See? Isn't this game fun? Doesn't it help us progress as a society? Doncha love talkin' about the issues?
The Swift Boat Vets are a group of sad, deluded old men, deserving of pity as surely as they are deserving of contempt. Instead of getting the help they so critically need, they have been exploited by the supporters of the President (and, now, the President himself). Their madness has become mainstream; their mass hysteria allowed to spread. Can we call it done now? Can the Vets go back to simmering in their paneled dens, calling each other in the desperate dark of night, whispering in whiskey hushes about how they and only they know the truth?
For Protesting the GOP Convention:
As New York City girds its loins for the protests at the Republican Convention (Motto: "Look, we found some black people to show you"), with thousands of cops, Secret Service and others readying for violence, the reasons to protest multiply, even as many on the left are saying that protesting plays right into the hands of the Republicans, who claim they will attempt to portray any civil disobedience as connected to the Democratic Party. In fact, these reasons have little to do with what will be protested. To wit:
Protest because they don't want us to protest. The FBI is questioning potential protesters under the wonderful, warm blanket excuse of seeking information on "plots" to disrupt the convention, which, you know, and c'mon, means "protests." As John Ashcroft prepares to shove the Patriot Act up the assholes of every leftist he can, with the preacher-like promise of protecting the public from "terror," we can be assured that "terror" has now become equated with "dissent," just like, so long ago, anyone who protested the Vietnam War was a "pinko" and a "Commie." Add to this reports that the NYPD "is sending young, scruffy-looking officers to infiltrate protest groups" at the convention. Add to this New York City's discriminatory efforts to prevent any kind of demonstration on the Great Lawn in Central Park because the fucking grass might get bent. Everything is being done by those in power to try to squelch protest. Don't let the fuckers win.
Protest because it'll piss off the right-wing media, who are already condemning the protests. Last night, on Fox "News", Bill O'Reilly had New York Democrat Jerrold Nadler on to talk about Nadler's opposition to the FBI's interviews of "radicals." O'Reilly was dismissive of the protests, with video playing that showed violent WTO demonstrations and riots, and O'Reilly said that the protesters are "guys wanting to hurt people," adding a caveat of "potential" violence. Also on Fox, Michelle "I Could Not Look More Like a Cartoon Gook If I Tried" Malkin said, "We know that a lot of these anti-war groups and anti-Bush groups are tied to guerrilla movements, guerrilla tactics."
Protest because it'll show the country how much hatred George Bush has engendered. Here's Bill "I Couldn't Look More Like Elmer Fudd If I Tried" Schneider on CNN: "The conventional wisdom is that if Americans see disruptions at the convention, they'll get furious at the protesters and that may lead them to vote for President Bush. I don't think so, because I remember the 1968 convention with Hubert Humphrey and the Democrats, where there were disruptions. The voters certainly condemned the protesters, but at the same time they looked at Hubert Humphrey and the Democrats and said if we reelect the Democrats, we're asking for four more years of trouble. I think that disruptions and protests at the Republican convention could lead to the same conclusion. It would reinforce President Bush's image as a divider and Americans would begin to ask wouldn't it be very risky to reelect him for four years?"
Protest to show 'em all that all the fear and intimidation and hate has not worked. Goddamn, how the Bush administration has tried to scare us into staying in our houses, shutting up, and watching Fox "News" like good little demi-citizens. Goddamn, how they've waved the threat of terrorism in our faces, like fundamentalist preachers wave the threat of hell and damnation. Goddamn, how they've tried to suppress our voices, our bodies, our libidoes, our hearts. Fuck 'em. Show 'em that you are a goddamn member of a goddamn democracy and somehow, you are going to be heard.
And as for those who would commit violence, here's what the plan oughta be: have people assigned to gather others to surround and stop anyone who might bring out the bricks and bats. Get dozens of other demonstrators to disarm them, calm them, bring them into the rest of the crowd. Or eject 'em.
The Rude Pundit has been invited to no less than three different protests in NYC. Let's open it up: someone convince the Rude Pundit why he should avoid them.
As New York City girds its loins for the protests at the Republican Convention (Motto: "Look, we found some black people to show you"), with thousands of cops, Secret Service and others readying for violence, the reasons to protest multiply, even as many on the left are saying that protesting plays right into the hands of the Republicans, who claim they will attempt to portray any civil disobedience as connected to the Democratic Party. In fact, these reasons have little to do with what will be protested. To wit:
Protest because they don't want us to protest. The FBI is questioning potential protesters under the wonderful, warm blanket excuse of seeking information on "plots" to disrupt the convention, which, you know, and c'mon, means "protests." As John Ashcroft prepares to shove the Patriot Act up the assholes of every leftist he can, with the preacher-like promise of protecting the public from "terror," we can be assured that "terror" has now become equated with "dissent," just like, so long ago, anyone who protested the Vietnam War was a "pinko" and a "Commie." Add to this reports that the NYPD "is sending young, scruffy-looking officers to infiltrate protest groups" at the convention. Add to this New York City's discriminatory efforts to prevent any kind of demonstration on the Great Lawn in Central Park because the fucking grass might get bent. Everything is being done by those in power to try to squelch protest. Don't let the fuckers win.
Protest because it'll piss off the right-wing media, who are already condemning the protests. Last night, on Fox "News", Bill O'Reilly had New York Democrat Jerrold Nadler on to talk about Nadler's opposition to the FBI's interviews of "radicals." O'Reilly was dismissive of the protests, with video playing that showed violent WTO demonstrations and riots, and O'Reilly said that the protesters are "guys wanting to hurt people," adding a caveat of "potential" violence. Also on Fox, Michelle "I Could Not Look More Like a Cartoon Gook If I Tried" Malkin said, "We know that a lot of these anti-war groups and anti-Bush groups are tied to guerrilla movements, guerrilla tactics."
Protest because it'll show the country how much hatred George Bush has engendered. Here's Bill "I Couldn't Look More Like Elmer Fudd If I Tried" Schneider on CNN: "The conventional wisdom is that if Americans see disruptions at the convention, they'll get furious at the protesters and that may lead them to vote for President Bush. I don't think so, because I remember the 1968 convention with Hubert Humphrey and the Democrats, where there were disruptions. The voters certainly condemned the protesters, but at the same time they looked at Hubert Humphrey and the Democrats and said if we reelect the Democrats, we're asking for four more years of trouble. I think that disruptions and protests at the Republican convention could lead to the same conclusion. It would reinforce President Bush's image as a divider and Americans would begin to ask wouldn't it be very risky to reelect him for four years?"
Protest to show 'em all that all the fear and intimidation and hate has not worked. Goddamn, how the Bush administration has tried to scare us into staying in our houses, shutting up, and watching Fox "News" like good little demi-citizens. Goddamn, how they've waved the threat of terrorism in our faces, like fundamentalist preachers wave the threat of hell and damnation. Goddamn, how they've tried to suppress our voices, our bodies, our libidoes, our hearts. Fuck 'em. Show 'em that you are a goddamn member of a goddamn democracy and somehow, you are going to be heard.
And as for those who would commit violence, here's what the plan oughta be: have people assigned to gather others to surround and stop anyone who might bring out the bricks and bats. Get dozens of other demonstrators to disarm them, calm them, bring them into the rest of the crowd. Or eject 'em.
The Rude Pundit has been invited to no less than three different protests in NYC. Let's open it up: someone convince the Rude Pundit why he should avoid them.
Against Protesting the GOP Convention:
The Rude Pundit is not opposed to protesting. He has marched too many times to count - he marched for divestment in South Africa during the days of apartheid; he marched with Sister Helen Prejean, pre-Dead Man Walking, against the death penalty; he has chanted at rallies calling for an end to racism after the L.A. riots; he was featured on local news holding a "No Blood For Oil" sign at a Persian Gulf War protest back in the day; he has stood with pro-choice protesters, making sure family planning clinics stayed open against a tide of Randall Terry's Operation Rescue nutcases; he once yelled, pithily, "You're stupid" right into the face of Dan Quayle; and he's marched against this Iraq War. Not that the Rude Pundit gives a shit whether you believe him or not, but he's got the cred to say this: he believes protesting the GOP convention is useless at best, and, at worst, dangerous to the cause of getting rid of George Bush.
The Republicans are salivating at the prospect of all the giant puppets, idiotically dressed attention-needers, and the lefty thugs beggin' for a fight. The vast, vast majority of the tens of thousands of demonstrators will be the "average" people, silenced by four years of Bush's hegemonic control of political discourse, people who want, for chrissake, to finally show that they deserve to be heard. Goddamn, it's a beautiful thing, a giant protest, when the tides of people keep flowing as a unified whole, when everyone you meet has the same beliefs as you, when there is an instant bond. Sure, it can be goddamned hot (or cold), your feet get sore, and your voice gets hoarse, and the speakers can get repetitious, but ultimately you are there to say that you have a voice that counts, that you are part of the democracy. Fuckin A, man, it's so fuckin' beautiful.
And all it takes is one fucked up group of anarchists with a giant papier-mache George Bush with a giant papier-mache cock fucking a giant papier-mache Statue of Liberty in her giant papier-mache ass to fuck up the whole vibe. Oh, sure, it's lots of fun when you're out there and the street theatre group comes out to perform its latest play, Cheney Wants To Shock Your Dick, complete with rubber masks and a guy in the Abu Ghraib hood and rags (although, c'mon, you roll your eyes at how literal and didactic the whole production is). But then some asshole decides to burn Donald Rumsfeld in effigy or something. And you know what makes the news: not you and your kids, out there, saying they're afraid they're gonna be drafted; not your neighbor, out there because he can't find a job that has health insurance; nope, none of that. What makes the news is the papier-mache fuck puppet, the burning Rumsfeld, the Cheney mask.
Oh, how the Republicans want there to be violence, how they want the Starbuckseses near Madison Square Garden to have their windows broken, how they want flags to be incinerated in the steets. You know, you know in your heart of hearts, dear hippie-wannabes (sorry, that time's over, gang), that groups have been infiltrated or entire groups created, just so someone can light the spark that makes the explosion. And if you haven't made your Lyndie England bondage costume, complete with a prisoner on a leash, that some COINTELPRO-type has decided to do it. Or some Fox "News" exec who needs good images. And then, how deliciously will the GOP tie Kerry, who was a protester, as we all know, to these protests. See the Democrats? Do you wanna be with the fuck puppets and the flag burners or do you wanna be with the nice guys? they'd be saying.
If the Rude Pundit was some kind of magician, he'd halt all the marches and protests in New York. He's take all the money that's being spent on travel, on legal challenges to the obvious discriminatory actions of the city of New York, on the organizing of the protests, and he'd put out TV ads and flyers that say something like, "Silence=Contempt". Yep, he'd start a campaign of silence. Of ignoring the hate spewing from the Garden. Ignore the bullies. Of denying them the chance to portray us as a bunch of lunatics who would dare protest a "sitting President." Make the press coverage about how all these groups are protesting with their absence. Have petitions signed by thousands and thousands of people stating that they are expressing their opposition to the GOP by refusing to acknowledge their presence. Yes, some will try to spin the lack of protest as a sign of support. But the message can be controlled. And empty streets filled with hundreds of cops is a pretty frightening little image, no? Also, it's a way of telling Mayor Bloomberg to go fuck himself with his protester discount buttons.
When the convention is over, stage the largest, loudest goddamn protest march ever fuckin' seen.
The Rude Pundit has been invited to no less than three different protests in NYC. Let's open it up: someone convince the Rude Pundit why he should attend.
The Rude Pundit is not opposed to protesting. He has marched too many times to count - he marched for divestment in South Africa during the days of apartheid; he marched with Sister Helen Prejean, pre-Dead Man Walking, against the death penalty; he has chanted at rallies calling for an end to racism after the L.A. riots; he was featured on local news holding a "No Blood For Oil" sign at a Persian Gulf War protest back in the day; he has stood with pro-choice protesters, making sure family planning clinics stayed open against a tide of Randall Terry's Operation Rescue nutcases; he once yelled, pithily, "You're stupid" right into the face of Dan Quayle; and he's marched against this Iraq War. Not that the Rude Pundit gives a shit whether you believe him or not, but he's got the cred to say this: he believes protesting the GOP convention is useless at best, and, at worst, dangerous to the cause of getting rid of George Bush.
The Republicans are salivating at the prospect of all the giant puppets, idiotically dressed attention-needers, and the lefty thugs beggin' for a fight. The vast, vast majority of the tens of thousands of demonstrators will be the "average" people, silenced by four years of Bush's hegemonic control of political discourse, people who want, for chrissake, to finally show that they deserve to be heard. Goddamn, it's a beautiful thing, a giant protest, when the tides of people keep flowing as a unified whole, when everyone you meet has the same beliefs as you, when there is an instant bond. Sure, it can be goddamned hot (or cold), your feet get sore, and your voice gets hoarse, and the speakers can get repetitious, but ultimately you are there to say that you have a voice that counts, that you are part of the democracy. Fuckin A, man, it's so fuckin' beautiful.
And all it takes is one fucked up group of anarchists with a giant papier-mache George Bush with a giant papier-mache cock fucking a giant papier-mache Statue of Liberty in her giant papier-mache ass to fuck up the whole vibe. Oh, sure, it's lots of fun when you're out there and the street theatre group comes out to perform its latest play, Cheney Wants To Shock Your Dick, complete with rubber masks and a guy in the Abu Ghraib hood and rags (although, c'mon, you roll your eyes at how literal and didactic the whole production is). But then some asshole decides to burn Donald Rumsfeld in effigy or something. And you know what makes the news: not you and your kids, out there, saying they're afraid they're gonna be drafted; not your neighbor, out there because he can't find a job that has health insurance; nope, none of that. What makes the news is the papier-mache fuck puppet, the burning Rumsfeld, the Cheney mask.
Oh, how the Republicans want there to be violence, how they want the Starbuckseses near Madison Square Garden to have their windows broken, how they want flags to be incinerated in the steets. You know, you know in your heart of hearts, dear hippie-wannabes (sorry, that time's over, gang), that groups have been infiltrated or entire groups created, just so someone can light the spark that makes the explosion. And if you haven't made your Lyndie England bondage costume, complete with a prisoner on a leash, that some COINTELPRO-type has decided to do it. Or some Fox "News" exec who needs good images. And then, how deliciously will the GOP tie Kerry, who was a protester, as we all know, to these protests. See the Democrats? Do you wanna be with the fuck puppets and the flag burners or do you wanna be with the nice guys? they'd be saying.
If the Rude Pundit was some kind of magician, he'd halt all the marches and protests in New York. He's take all the money that's being spent on travel, on legal challenges to the obvious discriminatory actions of the city of New York, on the organizing of the protests, and he'd put out TV ads and flyers that say something like, "Silence=Contempt". Yep, he'd start a campaign of silence. Of ignoring the hate spewing from the Garden. Ignore the bullies. Of denying them the chance to portray us as a bunch of lunatics who would dare protest a "sitting President." Make the press coverage about how all these groups are protesting with their absence. Have petitions signed by thousands and thousands of people stating that they are expressing their opposition to the GOP by refusing to acknowledge their presence. Yes, some will try to spin the lack of protest as a sign of support. But the message can be controlled. And empty streets filled with hundreds of cops is a pretty frightening little image, no? Also, it's a way of telling Mayor Bloomberg to go fuck himself with his protester discount buttons.
When the convention is over, stage the largest, loudest goddamn protest march ever fuckin' seen.
The Rude Pundit has been invited to no less than three different protests in NYC. Let's open it up: someone convince the Rude Pundit why he should attend.
Next Stop Is Vietnam (And a Brief Note About Why Bob Dole Oughta Be Sodomized With an Ink Pen):
The Rude Pundit has said that the true goal of the Swift Boat Vets for Truth has nothing to do with Kerry's war record; it's actually about the psyche of the vets themselves, suppressing the horrible knowledge that their government betrayed them as surely as a lover you catch fucking the houseboy. And, therefore, what they really want to attack is John Kerry, the "wild-eyed" hippie activist, and not Kerry, the soldier. Check out their new ad, titled "Sellout.".
In "Sellout," Kerry's testimony about war crimes in Vietnam before the Senate Armed Services Committee in 1971 is quoted out of context. Where Kerry is talking about testimony already given about atrocities, "Sellout" gives only the part of the quote that makes it seem as if Kerry is speaking these things for the first time. (Kerry didn't only say, "They had personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads," but had attributed the stories to "honorably discharged" vets who had testified at previous hearings.) But that fact's been argued about over and over.
The ad also features other vets, today, saying things like, "It hurt me . . . He betrayed us in the past . . . It demoralized us." They make reference to torture in 'Cong prison camps. But they do not in any way refute what Kerry testified. And this time, in this ad, they do not say Kerry is lying. And that's because the facts are that atrocities occurred - all of the things Kerry spoke out about - and are part of the history of the Vietnam war. So what galls these Swift Boat Vets and others about Kerry's testimony? It's that he told the truth, that he was a whistleblower, that he told those in power, "Here's this fucked-up, awful, disgusting piece of shit war you are forcing us to fight and here's the fucked-up, awful, disgusting things we've been doing in your name."
Put it this way: let's suppose that Joseph Darby, the soldier who blew the whistle on the torture at Abu Ghraib (and now hiding from death threats), decided to run for office. Let's say that a group called "Iraq Prison Guards for Truth" ran an ad with all kinds of sinister music, with former Abu Ghraib guards saying shit like "Joseph Darby betrayed us." The Rude Pundit would hope beyond hope that the majority of people would decide the "Iraq Prison Guards for Truth" was a bunch of batshit insane, crazed monkeys who should be locked up for the public good.
What the Swift Boat Vets are saying is that John Kerry was supposed to shut up, that Kerry and the hundreds of vets who testified the truth about what was going on in 'Nam had no right to out the horrors that many (good pundit caveat: not all) soldiers perpetrated. And why did Kerry speak out? Because he wanted the motherfucking useless goddamned war to end. He wanted to save lives from being wasted in a war that ripped America apart. But, like every whistleblower before and after, like every cop who ever turned in cops on the take, like every FBI agent who said that the FBI was negligent on 9/11, Kerry was treated like a pariah by those who feared what he had to say.
So, in total, Kerry stands accused by the Swift Boat Vets and their toadies in the media of not being injured too badly, of not being heroic enough, and of telling the truth to the American public. God, what a pussy Kerry must be. (Can you imagine how vast the conspiracy must be to cover up for Kerry since every goddamn extant record supports him?)
Side note: Oh, how we were all suckered by Bob Dole, thinking he was just that delightful old guy who is so fuckin' funny on The Daily Show and alluding to jackin' off to Britney Spears in Pepsi ads. But we forget, oh, how we forget, what a vicious, belittling, egomanical gimp he is. All shaky and shit, quivering hand clinging to that goddamn pen for sweet life, Dole says Kerry should "apologize" for whistleblowing and that Kerry only had "superficial wounds" which got him the Purple Hearts. Alright, motherfuckers who support Dole on this, are you ready to open it all up? Take back every Purple Heart ever given to less-than-gimp-creating wounds? Next time we see lovable Bob Dole making us think about his withered cock getting all half-stiff from a double dose of Viagra so he can lamely fuck Libby in her "Red Cross," let's remember that he really gets it up, high and hard, when he's spreading the hate.
The Rude Pundit has said that the true goal of the Swift Boat Vets for Truth has nothing to do with Kerry's war record; it's actually about the psyche of the vets themselves, suppressing the horrible knowledge that their government betrayed them as surely as a lover you catch fucking the houseboy. And, therefore, what they really want to attack is John Kerry, the "wild-eyed" hippie activist, and not Kerry, the soldier. Check out their new ad, titled "Sellout.".
In "Sellout," Kerry's testimony about war crimes in Vietnam before the Senate Armed Services Committee in 1971 is quoted out of context. Where Kerry is talking about testimony already given about atrocities, "Sellout" gives only the part of the quote that makes it seem as if Kerry is speaking these things for the first time. (Kerry didn't only say, "They had personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads," but had attributed the stories to "honorably discharged" vets who had testified at previous hearings.) But that fact's been argued about over and over.
The ad also features other vets, today, saying things like, "It hurt me . . . He betrayed us in the past . . . It demoralized us." They make reference to torture in 'Cong prison camps. But they do not in any way refute what Kerry testified. And this time, in this ad, they do not say Kerry is lying. And that's because the facts are that atrocities occurred - all of the things Kerry spoke out about - and are part of the history of the Vietnam war. So what galls these Swift Boat Vets and others about Kerry's testimony? It's that he told the truth, that he was a whistleblower, that he told those in power, "Here's this fucked-up, awful, disgusting piece of shit war you are forcing us to fight and here's the fucked-up, awful, disgusting things we've been doing in your name."
Put it this way: let's suppose that Joseph Darby, the soldier who blew the whistle on the torture at Abu Ghraib (and now hiding from death threats), decided to run for office. Let's say that a group called "Iraq Prison Guards for Truth" ran an ad with all kinds of sinister music, with former Abu Ghraib guards saying shit like "Joseph Darby betrayed us." The Rude Pundit would hope beyond hope that the majority of people would decide the "Iraq Prison Guards for Truth" was a bunch of batshit insane, crazed monkeys who should be locked up for the public good.
What the Swift Boat Vets are saying is that John Kerry was supposed to shut up, that Kerry and the hundreds of vets who testified the truth about what was going on in 'Nam had no right to out the horrors that many (good pundit caveat: not all) soldiers perpetrated. And why did Kerry speak out? Because he wanted the motherfucking useless goddamned war to end. He wanted to save lives from being wasted in a war that ripped America apart. But, like every whistleblower before and after, like every cop who ever turned in cops on the take, like every FBI agent who said that the FBI was negligent on 9/11, Kerry was treated like a pariah by those who feared what he had to say.
So, in total, Kerry stands accused by the Swift Boat Vets and their toadies in the media of not being injured too badly, of not being heroic enough, and of telling the truth to the American public. God, what a pussy Kerry must be. (Can you imagine how vast the conspiracy must be to cover up for Kerry since every goddamn extant record supports him?)
Side note: Oh, how we were all suckered by Bob Dole, thinking he was just that delightful old guy who is so fuckin' funny on The Daily Show and alluding to jackin' off to Britney Spears in Pepsi ads. But we forget, oh, how we forget, what a vicious, belittling, egomanical gimp he is. All shaky and shit, quivering hand clinging to that goddamn pen for sweet life, Dole says Kerry should "apologize" for whistleblowing and that Kerry only had "superficial wounds" which got him the Purple Hearts. Alright, motherfuckers who support Dole on this, are you ready to open it all up? Take back every Purple Heart ever given to less-than-gimp-creating wounds? Next time we see lovable Bob Dole making us think about his withered cock getting all half-stiff from a double dose of Viagra so he can lamely fuck Libby in her "Red Cross," let's remember that he really gets it up, high and hard, when he's spreading the hate.
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