What Would Jesus Lie About? (Health Care Reform Edition):
In another one of those orgasm-inducing moments that's becoming regular now that he's in the Senate, Al Franken bitch-slapped Republican John Thune all over the Senate floor, to the point where Thune actually walked out. What was the dastardly Minnesotan bludgeoning the poor South Dakotan over? Franken wanted Thune to stop lying about when benefits start in the health care reform legislation. Or, as Franken put it, "[W]e are entitled to our own opinions; we’re not entitled to our own facts." And facts, as we are well aware, have a suspiciously liberal bias. Thune was later seen curled up and crying in the cloak room, whimpering, "I'm no bitch," while furiously licking his own anus.

But actual facts don't matter if you can tell a lie with a straight face and pretend it's the truth, which is how the conservative body politic and its obedient media chihuahuas function. One might expect better of people who proclaim that they are taking their marching orders directly from God, or Jesus, whichever, or both, depending on if they're feeling Judeo-Christian or just plain Christian on a particular issue.

However, if you're the Family Research Council (motto: "Lazarus and the lepers did just fine without Obamacare"), your Christian beliefs are no barrier to spinning lies out of the pain of others. An ardent opponent of health care reform, ostensibly over abortion, but mostly because they're dicks, the FRC posts a "Fact-a-Day" about that issue. One of its most recent "facts" addresses the financial burden that states may face from expanded Medicaid coverage, using New York as an example. It's actually a legitimate concern, one worthy of discussion, and if the FRC had left it there, they would have a point. But remember, they're dicks. Lying dicks.

The FRC says, "New York State has one of the most liberal Medicaid policies in the United States, and in these tough economic times, they're saving money by rationing care for women in the state seeking cancer screenings." The post links to an article that talks about women being turned away from free mammograms and pap smears in 20 states due to the overwhelming numbers of women without health insurance. Thus states like New York have been forced to, yes, ration the free screenings. It's another awful consequence of our barbaric medical system. God, one might think upon reading the FRC's statement, if a place with liberal Medicaid policies can't provide for women, then by extension any government insurance must fail."

The thing is that if the women had Medicaid, they'd be able to get screenings because they wouldn't have to go to free screenings. They'd have health insurance in the form of, well, fuck, Medicaid. In fact (yes, fact), a recent study said, according to another article's headline, "Medicaid coverage no barrier to mammography access." The poor women in the FRC-cited article don't qualify for Medicaid, which is only for the poorest of the poor. In New York, that means your income has to be no higher than $8,462 a year, if you're single.

In other words, the exact opposite of what the Family Research Council asserted is the factual truth. It's kind of like when Jesus said, "Psych," after the Sermon on the Mount and then told the poor to suck it.