The Super-Scary Iranian Assassination Plot: The FBI's Truman Show:
Man, the Rude Pundit hopes one day that someone cares enough about him to create an entire world for his most depraved delusions, just like the FBI apparently did with this used car salesman who said he was working with Iran to kill the Saudi Arabian ambassador to the United States. That'd be sweet, just to have a discussion with someone who seems serious about it, just to fuck with 'em and see the look on his face as he said, "Now, lemme get this straight, you want to sacrifice a midget who looks like Rick Santorum to Satan, cut off his arm, and fuck your own ass with it, all while a just-post-op transsexual is going down on a 70 year-old female porn star who's fellating an Irish setter? And everyone's gotta be bathing in the midget's blood? And then everyone gets killed at the end except you and you get to keep the arm as a souvenir? Umm, okay, we're gonna need to get some money wired in..."

'Cause, see, essentially, this oh-so-scary pre-Halloween appearance by the terrorism boogeyman is just a fantasy cooked up by the FBI. Someone heard that this broke loser, Manssor Arbabsiar, who looks like he's straight out of the Arab-looking evil character catalog, wants to get involved in some shit to kill the Saudi ambassador or something for the Iranian government. So the FBI creates a world for the schmuck where this is made to seem possible and they can watch, like the movie The Truman Show or The Spanish Prisoner. The informant, acting like he's part of a Mexican drug cartel that'll take the job and possibly kill a shitload of people while blowing up a restaurant, feeds into the fantasy plot and "Jack," as Arbabsiar is known to his friends, is drawn in, even pretending like he has a cousin that's part of the Iranian elite and very-scary-sounding military unit, the Quds Force.

Like the majority of so-called terror plots in the last few years, it's essentially all the concoction of the FBI. And it ended with the guy crumbling like a house of cards in a tornado. He fuckin' gave up everything he supposedly knew. And, sweet Jesus, it's like a funhouse of shit what we're supposed to fear. Iranians working with the ultra-violent Mexican drug gangs? Fuck, that's like Freddy Krueger impregnating the thing from Predator and breeding a human-skinning alien that kills you in your dreams and when you're awake; that fucker just never stops killing you.

Of course, the Saudi ambassador was never in any danger from Mexican assassins. Jack was egged on by the informant, and every conversation was recorded. It's just like the case of Hosam Smadi, the poor bastard in Dallas who got a little over-excited on a website and drew the attention of the FBI. They created a whole scenario where he could blow up a truck bomb in downtown Dallas. He got to play pretend terrorist for ten months. They let Smadi get to the point where he thought he was actually remotely detonating the truck. Give the three FBI actors in that case a fuckin' Oscar. (One note here: Smadi was sent to prison for 24 years. When he gets out, didn't the FBI just train him in how to go about blowing up a building?)

So is it possible that Iran wants to blow up a Saudi on American soil? Probably not. And, even if so, as Glenn Greenwald and others point out, it's pretty fuckin' hypocritical of us to say that they don't have that right, considering our own drone-rific attacks on people in other nations, with loads of collateral damage (or, you know, dead innocents).

To call this a "significant milestone" in the fight against terrorism, as Attorney General Eric Holder did, is overstatement of pathological proportions. No one was threatened at any point. No terrorist plot was ever actually conceived, just an illusion of one conjured by the Imagineers at the FBI in order to keep us believing in the magic of our Homeland Security operations, to possibly amp up to war with Iran, and who knows what else.

By the way, the FBI statement ends cutely with this: "The charges contained in a criminal complaint are mere allegations and defendants are presumed innocent unless and until proven guilty." Sure.

Now the Rude Pundit's gotta get going. He's been told that he's gonna meet with potential little Santorums at lunch.