Now Newt?:
Really, GOP? Newt Gingrich now? Really? Deciding to move on to Newt Gingrich because Herman Cain was too tainted by a sex scandal is like moving on to crack once meth has lost its allure. Just shut the fuck up and nominate Mitt Romney as your mad godhead already.

Newt Gingrich is as appalling a globule of corrupt phlegm that the rheumatic lungs of the body politic has ever hacked up. Forget for a moment his government shutdown, his push for investigating every fake scandal of the Bill Clinton administration, his being driven out of DC like a rabid raccoon because of ethics violations, his hypocritical flogging of family values while he was ending every marriage by fucking another woman (and that's leaving out the hospital visit to his cancer-ridden first wife to discuss the terms of a break-up, not to mention his line of credit at Tiffany's). Forget all that. If you want to know what a vindictive, awful, petty motherfucker this motherfucker is, check this out:

When things were gearing up for the release of the Starr Report on Clinton, Gingrich wanted to impeach Al Gore, too. Not for anything the then-Vice President did, but for what he might do if he were president: "Gingrich believes that the report will be so tough that Clinton will be impeached. The thinking then goes that Gore, as his successor, will pardon Clinton. This, of course, leaves Gore in place as the incumbent president, which is not something the Republicans wish to have happen. So once Gore has pardoned Clinton, Gingrich's thinking goes, the Congress will impeach Gore for having pardoned Clinton. As one of these close associates of Gingrich said to me, 'You can't have a Clinton strategy without a Gore strategy.'"

You understand? He doesn't care. He doesn't fucking care. Drag the country through the upheaval of impeachment once? Fuck, why not do it again. And again. He only seeks to service a disgraced ideology, and he is part of the reason it's disgraced. Gingrich is just giddy, bloated rich windbag whose academic credentials give him the imprimatur of expertise where none exists. He is 100 pounds of shit in a 50 pound bag.

His idiotic Contract with America, which heaved itself out the same post-Reagan cesspool as Grover Norquist's destructive pledge, leads directly to the current partisan madness that has wreaked havoc on the nation. He nearly ripped the nation apart. Nominating Newt Gingrich for president is like giving a drunk the keys to a new car right after he wrapped the last one around a telephone pole.

And, as ever, “Fuck you, Newt Gingrich.”