Why Bill O'Reilly Ought To Be Sodomized With a Microphone (Part 929):

Here's O'Reilly, Fox "News" radio and television host and a man who likes the gentle massage of a vibrator on his prostate until it brings him to ululations of glee, on his Radio Factor on November 17, talking about the organization Human Rights Watch: "They're very shadowy -- they don't tell you where their money comes from. But we have investigated," and then proceeded to smear HRW with an "investigation" seemingly into the organization's website, which freely thanks its large donors, like the Soros Foundation and the Carnegie Endowment. That's all well and good for the afternoon for O'Reilly - Human Rights Watch, busily calling attention to the depravities around the world, especially the Sudan, is "shadowy," like the KGB. But that evening, on The O'Reilly Factor on TV, who does O'Reilly have on to talk about the video of the Marine shooting a wounded Iraqi prisoner? Why, look, it's Kenneth Roth, executive director of Human Rights Watch, who O'Reilly calls "a stand-up guy." Hmm, you might ponder, can a "shadowy" group be led by a "stand-up guy"? Contradiction, you might think. Hypocrisy, you might suspect. But then you wouldn't be Bill O'Reilly, a man who never let little things like evidence, facts, and his own words get in the way of his desire to act like a beaver on meth, crazily gnawing everything in his path to create a dam for his river of bullshit.



As Roth, who's been working on human rights issues for over two decades, attempted to describe how the Marine's execution of the prisoner was a war crime, O'Reilly kept interrupting with "You would injure this young Marine?" or "You think the Marine made it up?" O'Reilly then pulled out the bully card to this upstart, this humanistic Hebe, who deigned to try to tell O'Reilly about the rule of "law" and the vicissitudes of "combat," when O'Reilly spouted, "We have millions of people watching right now . . . Millions of people. And I will submit to you that 90 percent of the millions of people all over the world agree with me and not you . . . So who is being unreasonable here?" And with that, any illusion of "dialogue" was effectively ended. The majority likes its war bloody and vindictvie, goddamnit. Even as Roth attempted to explain that we follow things like the Geneva Conventions because we don't want the same shit to happen to our soldiers, O'Reilly dismissed the "stand-up guy," who really just was O'Reilly's fuck puppet for the evening, a chance for O'Reilly to scratch and scream and pretend to "knowledge" and "morality," and, really, and c'mon, all we can think when we see O'Reilly now is his saggy man boobs and dropped scrotum masking his tiny cock as he steps into a shower, loofah in his hand, rubbing the tits and pussy of a female employee, intoning, "90 percent of the folks trust me, 90 percent of the folks trust me, so should you, so should you."