Spyin' and Lyin':
Sweet Jesus, the lies we must live with, the litany of falsehoods that all of us must commit in order to exist in this world. There's a paper trail of our lies - we may wish to call them "hypocrisies," but, indeed, they are nothing but lies. Somewhere there's a yearbook buried in an attic where, in your junior high scrawl, you promised the yearbook's owner, "Friends 4ever," written for someone who is a memory, a ghost, a whisper, a forgotten thing, like an old rag doll. There's boxes and drawers of love letters, sweet commitments to so many people, each one of whom, you believed, fully, with the entirety of what you call your heart, that you thought this person was the one. But time changes us, does it not? Time changes us and the heart clicks into a new position, and those things we swore, all the future promises, all the endearments and turns of phrase saying that there would be more, more of time, more of learning about each other, all of that is gone, gone, gone. But somewhere, someone's got that box, got those words. And that someone knows the truth: that you are actually a liar, and you shift in the winds of circumstance.

So it is when we look at Senator Olympia Snowe's website, we see that she proudly keeps her box of lies open for all to see. For there, in the press release section, is her proclamation of independence from the Executive branch, a statement of the necessity of Congress to engage in its constitutional duties of oversight, calling on a joint inquiry between the Intelligence and Judiciary Committees to look into the President's domestic spying program. Bucking her party's touted "discipline," which means, in fact, sucking the President's asshole until you're huffin' nothin' but Texas burrito farts, Snowe said, "Revelations that the U.S. government has conducted domestic electronic surveillance without express legal authority indeed warrants Congressional examination. I believe the Congress – as a coequal branch of government – must immediately and expeditiously review the use of this practice."

And to show just how fuckin' tough and independent she is, she joined three Democrats and brave fellow Republican Chuck Hagel in a letter to the chairs and ranking members of the committees, saying, "We strongly believe that the Judiciary and Intelligence Committees should immediately seek to answer the factual and legal questions which surround these revelations, and recommend appropriate action to the Senate."

That, of course, was in December 2005. Now, Snowe says that Congress's role ain't review or searches for answers. It's to pass an ass-coverin' worthless piece o' crap law to make it look like the Republicans have done something, except, you know, that whole oversight and coequal bullshit she spouted earlier. Said Snow of the 45-day warrantless search plus more charming visits from Alberto "We Don't Need No Stinkin' FISA" Gonzales approach to the issue, "We are reasserting Congressional responsibility and oversight" or, in other words, pass me some of that ass, Mr. President, we gots some huffin' to do. And she certainly ain't bogartin' the Bush ass pipe. Chuck Hagel's suckin' those farts, too.

And why? Because Kansas Senator Pat Roberts is a toady, a compliant wad of fuck, of whom the most generous thing that can be said is that Karl Rove must have pictures of Chippendale's dancers rubbing their scrotums on his bald head as he laughs, but who is more likely just another useless, desperate petty power-clinger who's tied his wagon to George Bush's star and will stay on until that fucker supernovas.

Once again, after makin' a ton of noise that they're gonna work with the Democrats, Republicans abandoned them, which oughta be some kind of lesson: we're talkin' the supposed "good" Republicans, the alleged moderates who'll vote for Alito and give the President as much power as he desires. The Democrats could filibuster the shit out of the bill once, as Roberts says, "Congress works its will." But chances are, beaten like curs again, they'll just slink into the alleys near the Capitol and lick themselves, growling madly about missing the bone again.

Roberts said the most unintentionally funny thing of the whole deal: "We should fight the enemy. We should not fight each other." But what if the enemy is us?