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George Washington Would Kick Teabaggers' Asses:
The Rude Pundit is down in dwindling Red State America for the Fourth o' July this year. For shits and giggles, he'll be heading to a local Tea Party tomorrow, where people who honestly have no fucking idea about the history of the nation will gather and sacrifice goats to Fox "news," hoping that the blood will please the gods and their extraordinarily low taxes will be even lower.

Since those like the aforementioned mad Glenn Beck and his fellow nutzoids pick and choose what the nation's founders actually said and believed, with Beck's repeated reamings of Thomas Paine falling on the "what the fuck?" side of things, here's something from George Washington himself that'll fuck up a teabagger's day. It's from an April 5, 1783 letter Washington wrote to the Marquis de Lafayette - you know, that French bastard without whom the American Revolution would have probably failed:

"We now stand an Independent People, and have yet to learn political Tactics. We are placed among the Nations of the Earth, and have a character to establish; but how we shall acquit ourselves time must discover; the probability, at least I fear it is, that local, or state Politics will interfere too much with that more liberal and extensive plan of government which wisdom and foresight, freed from the mist of prejudice, would dictate; and that we shall be guilty of many blunders in treading this boundless theatre before we shall have arrived at any perfection in this Art."

You got that? Washington feared that the states would fuck up the unity of the nation, that a nation fails if people are allowed to have each of its local bullshit take precedence.

"In a word that the experience which is purchased at the price of difficulties and distress, will alone convince us that the honor, power, and true Interest of this Country must be measured by a Continental scale; and that every departure therefrom weakens the Union, and may ultimately break the band, which holds us together. To avert these evils, to form a Constitution that will give consistency, stability and dignity to the Union; and sufficient powers to the great Council of the Nation for general purposes is a duty which is incumbent upon every Man who wishes well to his Country, and will meet with my aid as far as it can be rendered in the private walks of life; for hence forward my Mind shall be unbent; and I will endeavor to glide down the stream of life ‘till I come to that abyss, from whence no traveller is permitted to return."

Tell that to your favorite member of the teabag brigade: George Washington would tell them they're idiots. That's what you should do this July 4th weekend: make a conservative cry. It wouldn't be hard. They're on the edge of tears constantly these days.

Oh, by the way, the Marquis de Lafayette was also pushing for the freedom of slaves. Washington continued, "The scheme, my dear Marqs. which you propose as a precedent, to encourage the emancipation of the black people of this Country from that state of Bondage in wch. they are held, is a striking evidence of the benevolence of your Heart." But, because Washington was by no means perfect, he added, "I shall be happy to join you in so laudable a work; but will defer going into a detail of the business, ‘till I have the pleasure of seeing you."

Of course, Washington didn't get around to that business.

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