Shut the Fuck Up and Bake the Fucking Cake

Shut the Fuck Up and Bake the Fucking Cake:
If you go to the website of 111 Cakery of Indianapolis, you see a fairly ugly design for the page, but, hell, the cakes look good, all covered with fondant and shit that people gotta have now that your networks of food and your bosses of cakes have made those over-the-top decorations total necessities.

You go the "About Us" page, and it's all pretty innocuous blather, like "One Eleven Cakery is an outlet to express our passion for cake by creating delicious works of art that reflect the personality of our client. We seek to establish life long customer relationships by exceeding even the highest expectations." That's damn friendly, inspiring even. The only thing that's even vaguely a warning is that they will not make you a cream-filled dick cake: "Everything we do is in 'good taste.'" (Ha-ha. Get it?)

111 Cakery's website, where one would go to learn about 111 Cakery should one want a 111 Cakery cake for one's wedding, contains not a single word about Jesus or the Bible or Christian beliefs. It sure as hell doesn't say a word, even on the Weddings page, that gay couples better not even ask to get their fudge-packed pastries or whatever the fuck they want for their nuptials from 111 Cakery.

That's a shame because if such a warning was there, then perhaps a gay couple would not have gone to 111 Cakery to ask the seemingly nice people there to bake a cake for their impending commitment ceremony, which is not a wedding, since that's not allowed in backwards ass Indiana. And then the owners of 111 Cakery would not have been on the news and would not have written a post on Facebook defending themselves for refusing to bake a gay cake.

Owners Trish and Randy McGath want you to know that there's no hate there: "Please know that there is zero hate here. We are not judging the lives of our clients." It's just that they wouldn't feel "inspired" (their word) to make a good cake. "It was not that we wanted to deny them a cake," they write. Oh, no, indeed: "it’s just tough to create something that goes against your beliefs...we want to be right with our God as well as respect others."

Now, lest you jump to the conclusion that they're lying about the lack of hate, the McGaths want you to know that they'll take gay money for other things: "We have happily done cakes for gay people, as well as people with different believes." That typo at the end is theirs. That's some fuckin' weirdo God who thinks it's cool for you to bake a gay birthday cake that will presumably be eaten by gay people but draws the line at a commitment ceremony. Kind of a fickle motherfucker, ain't he?

At this point, shouldn't we be done with this argument? Frankly, it's kind of fucked up if you hide behind your religion's skirt because you hate queers. You are allowed to think for yourself. It's not God or your pastor or your community or your parents or anything. It's you, and it's hate. Goddamn, just stop pretending it's not. Stop this pusillanimous bullshit of "As Christians we have a sincere love for people." Well, sure, except when you don't. Tell us how what you did was a sign of Christian love, dear, dear McGaths.

How about we make this deal, all you incredibly straight cake decorators who have made this into such an issue? You put something on your website, maybe a sign in your window, that says, "No cakes for gay weddings or other commitment ceremonies." That's a good way to make sure that couples who just want to have a nice day without any trouble won't buy your cake or eat it, too. The couple in this case, Mike Stephens and Shane Laney, have already found someone who is glad to let them pay gay money for a cake.

Otherwise, well, look at the title. Shut the fuck up, take the fucking money, bake the fucking cake, and go flog yourself after or whatever shit you need to do to feel clean again.