Conservatives Are Scared of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed; Liberals Are Not:
So it was that in a hangover haze, desperately thirsty, sore, and craving pancakes, the Rude Pundit opened his laptop this morning to see he had received a frantic email from Erick Erickson of the blog RedState. Knowing that he had never subscribed to any spam lists on that creepy fucker's site, the first thing the Rude Pundit did was curse whatever son or daughter of a bitch signed him up. And then he opened the message, which waved its little arms like a crazed Kermit the Frog by being subject-lined, "Stop Obama From Importing Terrorists Stateside" (man, the tariffs have gotta be heavy on that shit).

What did the screechy deacon have to say? "Today Barack Obama is going to announce that the terrorist mastermind of September 11th, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, will be sent to New York City for a criminal trial in a civilian court." Huh. Seemed eminently reasonable. If he is the 9/11 masterblastermind, then the city of the crime would be where he has to be tried, no?

If you're Erick Erickson (and if you are, the Rude Pundit says, "Dude, seriously?"), the answer is "Oh, fucking no fucking way, motherfucker." Or, as he wrote, "In that trial, the terrorist will get all the rights afforded an American citizen in a criminal trial, including the right to a fair trial, the right to a taxpayer funded attorney, the right to review all the evidence against him, potentially including classified intelligence matters, the right to exclude evidence against him including, potentially, any confession obtained through enhanced interrogation techniques, etc."

Now, the Rude Pundit's no lawyer like Erickson once was, but he's pretty damn sure that the Sixth Amendment to the Constitution says, "In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial" and then talks about the rights that entails. That really doesn't distinguish between citizen and non-citizen and, indeed, there have been many decisions that allow for fair and speedy trial for immigrants both legal and illegal, as well as for non-Americans extradited to the United States for trial.

"At best, this will be a show trial fit not for the American Republic, but a third world kleptocratic totalitarian regime," continues Erickson in his missive. So, just to give you insight into a fairly well-regarded conservative mind: it's a stronger show of democracy to indefinitely detain a man without charge. To charge him and try him is an action fit for a tyrant. It's not unlike saying that if Erick Erickson had a choice to fuck a knothole in a wooden bench or his wife, he'd decide to fuck the knothole because, splinters and callouses be damned, it won't care if he loses his hard-on.

Since the announcement of Attorney General Eric Holder's announcement, the reaction over in the nutzoid ghetto of Right Blogsylvania has been predictable. Michelle Malkin madly barked, "If this White House thought Tea Party activists were an 'angry mob,' wait until they see the backlash from 9/11 family members and their supporters nationwide." She quotes a message from one of those family members: "[W]e will fight with every remaining breath in our bodies both their bringing KSM and the rest of the 9/11 conspirators to federal courtrooms within walking distance of where they slaughtered our loved ones." Does that mean a Brooklyn courtroom would be better? What proximity would satisfy them?

The microphones of right wing radio hosts are cringing at the thought of the spit soaking they're about to get. Rush Limbaugh has put on his skinny underwear to irritate his balls and ass crack so he gets extra cranky. Sean Hannity has taken an injection of wolverine semen right into his chin because he thinks it'll make him more savage. Michael Savage...well, fuck, he'll just do his usual thing and bite the heads off screaming bunnies on air. It keeps the rabbit population down in California.

Why does the notion of putting Khalid Sheikh Mohammed on trial drive them past the edge of insanity and "get the rhino tranq" frothing? Mohammed will more than likely get their beloved death penalty. Erickson seems to think Mohammed might pass classified information on to terrorists. But one of his readers inadvertently hits the nail on the head. In a comment, jdub19 writes, "I see this as another way to bash the Bush years. No OBL and after all the years in custody, KSM will be brought to justice. They have to keep reminding the public of GWB failures."

Ah, dear jdub, there is the problem. It's not that Barack Obama is going to put us in danger. It's that he's showing how justice is supposed to be done. Just doing that simple thing, abiding by the laws of the land, demonstrates the failures of the last administration. The Rude Pundit's said it before and he'll say it again: so much of the anger at Obama is a projection of right wing anger at George W. Bush. Obama has to fail at everything in the right wingers' sad world, just to show that they didn't devote eight years of their pathetic, deluded lives to abetting the destruction of the nation. They are shitting themselves in fear, not just in the intensely unlikely scenario of hot terrorist on terrorist action. They are afraid of what evidence at trial might reveal about how far down the rabbit hole to actual tyranny we fell.

We on the left are not afraid. We have the courage to confront the truth and not hide it away in a cell forever.

Just to reiterate another point: it's not weak to say that our laws are strong enough to take care of terrorists. In fact, believing in our justice system actually makes Barack Obama more patriotic than all waterboard-loving, conservative pricks and cunts who just want Mohammed disappeared. Nidal Hasan killed more people than just about anyone ever at Gitmo, yet no one's saying that he should be detained forever without charge or trial.

By the way, the Rude Pundit unsubscribed to Erickson's spam. And he's gonna need whiskey on those pancakes.

(Note: to those expecting part 2 of yesterday's part 1, the intention was to do it next week, after Sarah Palin's book comes out.)